All of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys
i had meant to do con reports like i had done with sakura con. but i guess that sort of slipped my mind and i went into a slump of not even writing in this thing for a while. anyway, shit went down good, costume was great, i looked great, got plenty of great compliments, and i'm so ready to do it all again. i'm thinking up ideas for next year's cosplay :P
pico's laying under my arm, making it very hard to type, and i'm not really sure what i wanted to say int he first place. i don't really remember. i'm kinda tired, and should be going to bed. i have work tomorrow.
i'm trying to remain in the state of mind that i don't care about the shit people say, or their doubts in me, but i find it hard some days to not fall into that anxiety. i stayed at my uncle's for all of last week as my dad was working on the bathroom. He finally fixed the floor, so it no longer has holes in it... but the toilet still isn't working too great. mom keeps on managing to plug it since she got back. i've been careful with it so dad and i survived while she was gone. but i just don't think her brain works too well to consider things. she just sort of runs on auto pilot half the time. so she's not aware she should act any differently.
apparently she hated the queen charlottes. it was cold and everybody drank. but she said the haida up there are absolutely goregeous a lot of them. and the tattoos they have are amazing. i'd prolly like a trip like that. mainly because i like to be alone. i'd go up and just wander off by myself.
alone is a concept i'm getting better and better at admitting i enjoy. before i lied when i liked the solitude, since i didn't want to admit to weakness that i was lonely. but now that i've just been generally behaving happier, i find that i can do alone. it gives me time to work on the things that i love. like looking at things, and writing, and art in some ways. that isn't to say that that won't change when i meet someone, i just think worrying about my personal future is silly. people come and go like rain storms.
that said, my professional future, i still do think a lot about. i think it's about time i stopped being so afraid of failure, since i fail by default if that's the case. i do worry that once i start something though, people will take too keen of an interest, and worry at me because of that.
maybe more on all of this later.... for now i just want the world to stop spinning so fast, so i can get a good night's sleep. i'm tired. nikki may be coming down. i was worried for a bit, since when she's here i always sleep on the couch, but that'll be shitty with my new work schedual, since i have to sleep well in order to get up in the mornings. then i talked to her today and apparently she's coming down on thursday and then staying through till the weekend, so i only have to deal with it for one day. that's nice. it'll be cool to hang out with her for the weekend.
love,
Brit
pico's laying under my arm, making it very hard to type, and i'm not really sure what i wanted to say int he first place. i don't really remember. i'm kinda tired, and should be going to bed. i have work tomorrow.
i'm trying to remain in the state of mind that i don't care about the shit people say, or their doubts in me, but i find it hard some days to not fall into that anxiety. i stayed at my uncle's for all of last week as my dad was working on the bathroom. He finally fixed the floor, so it no longer has holes in it... but the toilet still isn't working too great. mom keeps on managing to plug it since she got back. i've been careful with it so dad and i survived while she was gone. but i just don't think her brain works too well to consider things. she just sort of runs on auto pilot half the time. so she's not aware she should act any differently.
apparently she hated the queen charlottes. it was cold and everybody drank. but she said the haida up there are absolutely goregeous a lot of them. and the tattoos they have are amazing. i'd prolly like a trip like that. mainly because i like to be alone. i'd go up and just wander off by myself.
alone is a concept i'm getting better and better at admitting i enjoy. before i lied when i liked the solitude, since i didn't want to admit to weakness that i was lonely. but now that i've just been generally behaving happier, i find that i can do alone. it gives me time to work on the things that i love. like looking at things, and writing, and art in some ways. that isn't to say that that won't change when i meet someone, i just think worrying about my personal future is silly. people come and go like rain storms.
that said, my professional future, i still do think a lot about. i think it's about time i stopped being so afraid of failure, since i fail by default if that's the case. i do worry that once i start something though, people will take too keen of an interest, and worry at me because of that.
maybe more on all of this later.... for now i just want the world to stop spinning so fast, so i can get a good night's sleep. i'm tired. nikki may be coming down. i was worried for a bit, since when she's here i always sleep on the couch, but that'll be shitty with my new work schedual, since i have to sleep well in order to get up in the mornings. then i talked to her today and apparently she's coming down on thursday and then staying through till the weekend, so i only have to deal with it for one day. that's nice. it'll be cool to hang out with her for the weekend.
love,
Brit