Pathetic
Ok, so I went on the first real date i've been on in about a year and a half. I feel like a little 12 year old afterwards. You know butterflies? They hadn't come to me in like 2 years. Well, theyre back. And you know when you get them when they touch you? I got those too. It was pathetic. At first, he was teaching me to play pool "correctly" and he was around me showing me what I was doing wrong, and I got them. I seriously feel so pathetic that it's not even funny. I havn't liked someone this much in a long time. He's in college, i'm in high school...I live 45 min. from him. I don't see it working, and I don't want to get attached as much as I do want to get attached. I feel like a little girl and I hate it. I hate being vulnerable to a person and I want to let my guard down but i'm afraid. He may just not even call me again!!!!!! So is it right that i'm already sad something is over that hasn't even started yet? Pessimism works for me I suppose, but is it right? I wont be dissapointed if he doesn't call me again. I'm really pathetic.