in a stray moment of calm--thinking straight

[ileikeggz2]

I honestly love hanging out with you. I like going out with you, experiencing new things with you, and I want that to continue. I feel that, however, over the course of the past few months, I haven't been enjoying your company as much because of the maybe-romance that is ever-looming above our heads. It's been putting a lot of pressure on me--on us. I don't think we're going to work as a couple, but I still really like our dynamic. You're a very important person to me, and that's not going to change. But I can't force romantic feelings if I really don't have any. I don't want to lose you, but I also don't want to have you in a way that I can't return, that even the most fundamental level of me refuses to accept.

The past few months have been a learning experience for both of us, but beyond it all, I'm happy for it. I'm happy for the things I learned. I'm happy that I'm closer to you now. I'm happy that this finally prompted me to let go of something I had been holding onto for so long already. I couldn't have done that without you.

Maybe this is it. Maybe this is my answer.