"Welcome Home, Ogre!", or: "What The Fuck, Albuquerque?"
Background: It's snowing.
Background for people who don't live here: Most people from Albuquerque are pretty exceptionally shitty drivers in the snow. (More background: Yes, it's a desert, but Albuquerque is at 5,000 feet, and there's a mountain right next to us that's 10,500 feet, and has a ski resort. Snow isn't as completely unknown as you might think.)
Still more background: I woke up in Barstow, CA this morning. (That was expected. ;) ) So I drove ~675 miles to get home today. Started at 2,000 feet altitude, dropped to sea level, climbed up to 7,000 feet in Flagstaff, dropped back down to 5,000 feet near Winslow, back up to 7,000 feet at the Continental Divide again, and back down to 5,000 feet in Albuquerque. With a head cold. At one point I could hear bubbles coming out of my tear ducts. It was... memorable.
So I've spent the drive to Albuquerque from basically Gallup driving through snowfall. At times light snowfall, at times very very heavy snowfall. I finally get into Albuquerque. I'm on 40, eastbound, in the far left lane, doing 1 or 2 over the limit of 65, passing some folks in the middle lane who are towing stuff, doing maybe 60. A car comes flying up behind me, slowing just enough to end up roughly half an inch off my bumper, and tailgates the fuck out of me until I get far enough in front of the guys next to me (Who are towing stuff! In the snow! Increased braking distance!) to signal and change lanes. As the jack wagon is climbing into my trunk, I think to myself "Really, guy?" And then the shape of the car, the headlights, various things tickles my memory... "No. NO! REALLY!?!?"
And indeed, as I get over, and Mr. Jackass runs it back up to 95 (IN THE SNOW!), I take note of various markings on the car, and dial 911, to report a stolen police car. As I said to the 911 operator, "Surely APD officers are more professional to drive like that in such hazardous conditions!" But I think she could tell I was being sarcastic.
Shockingly enough, I chose not to leave my name or number.