[Private~ You know the drill.]
[We're going to assume he's writing in Finnish, and that's why there are contractions, since this !boy doesn't know the meaning of them in English. >>]
So much has happened since I got back from Suomi. So much crazy stuff. It's been a little insane. Hank and Val's team is doing awesome in the playoffs, I'm still getting adjusted to having a daughter, then Dylan and Robbie's relationship exploded, I'm going to be playing for TPS next season instead of JYP -- which I'm really excited about, actually -- and then more things exploded, and now it just seems like my entire friendslist is fighting with someone and I just wish I could get it to stop. But I know it's just not possible. As much as I wish it was, I know it's just not. I can't fix everything.
And then Hank... He had this thing the other night where he was afraid I'm going to wake up one morning and not love him anymore or something, and that just threw me so bad. I don't know what I did to give him that sort of idea, or what, but I just sort of stood there and stared at him for a minute and then told him I wasn't going to discuss that sort of thing in front of our daughter, because he was rocking her at the time. It just...It wasn't the right time, I guess. Even if Karina is too little to understand still, she still knows when there is tension, and she was showing it with how squirmy and fussy she got, and she's never fussy.
I just...I don't know where he got that idea. I love him with all my heart and he's the only one I want to be with for the rest of my life. I don't understand how something like that could change overnight. I just don't think it's possible. At least for me. Maybe for some people it happens, but I can't see it happening for me. I love him too much to just give up on it. With all the problems we've had, I haven't given up yet, and I won't give up. It just seems like such a waste to give up, and I'm not going to do that. It's the last thing I'm going to do.
So much has happened since I got back from Suomi. So much crazy stuff. It's been a little insane. Hank and Val's team is doing awesome in the playoffs, I'm still getting adjusted to having a daughter, then Dylan and Robbie's relationship exploded, I'm going to be playing for TPS next season instead of JYP -- which I'm really excited about, actually -- and then more things exploded, and now it just seems like my entire friendslist is fighting with someone and I just wish I could get it to stop. But I know it's just not possible. As much as I wish it was, I know it's just not. I can't fix everything.
And then Hank... He had this thing the other night where he was afraid I'm going to wake up one morning and not love him anymore or something, and that just threw me so bad. I don't know what I did to give him that sort of idea, or what, but I just sort of stood there and stared at him for a minute and then told him I wasn't going to discuss that sort of thing in front of our daughter, because he was rocking her at the time. It just...It wasn't the right time, I guess. Even if Karina is too little to understand still, she still knows when there is tension, and she was showing it with how squirmy and fussy she got, and she's never fussy.
I just...I don't know where he got that idea. I love him with all my heart and he's the only one I want to be with for the rest of my life. I don't understand how something like that could change overnight. I just don't think it's possible. At least for me. Maybe for some people it happens, but I can't see it happening for me. I love him too much to just give up on it. With all the problems we've had, I haven't given up yet, and I won't give up. It just seems like such a waste to give up, and I'm not going to do that. It's the last thing I'm going to do.