(no subject)
When I say that I hate my current life, it is not in the teenage, angsty way you would think.
I don't hate the life part, I hate the living part. The life, that is to say the people, in my life, are stunning.
The living, however, is monotonous and tiring. I learn nothing, gain nothing, believe in nothing, care for almost less.
I hate that I have yet to accomplish anything. I hate how selfish I am. I hate the media, I hate the expectations, the easy, easy expectations for humans that are ignored, while the difficult, ego building, and heart breaking expectations are put into the spotlight.
I hate that things are generalized. Worse, I hate that I generalize. I hate that people find reasons to fight, to betray, to destroy anything.
I hate that sometimes people make stupid decisions. Because then they will have regret, and that is a terrible thing to have in your heart, and in your mind.
I hate that the smell of formaldehyde follows me everywhere I go. Suffocating me. Making me cry and wretch and remember all at once.
I hate, too that time has an inconsistent pace.
But sometimes I love the weather.
I don't hate the life part, I hate the living part. The life, that is to say the people, in my life, are stunning.
The living, however, is monotonous and tiring. I learn nothing, gain nothing, believe in nothing, care for almost less.
I hate that I have yet to accomplish anything. I hate how selfish I am. I hate the media, I hate the expectations, the easy, easy expectations for humans that are ignored, while the difficult, ego building, and heart breaking expectations are put into the spotlight.
I hate that things are generalized. Worse, I hate that I generalize. I hate that people find reasons to fight, to betray, to destroy anything.
I hate that sometimes people make stupid decisions. Because then they will have regret, and that is a terrible thing to have in your heart, and in your mind.
I hate that the smell of formaldehyde follows me everywhere I go. Suffocating me. Making me cry and wretch and remember all at once.
I hate, too that time has an inconsistent pace.
But sometimes I love the weather.