(no subject)
It’s not very often that I spend time with my sister by myself without my dad or my other sister. In fact, I literally can’t even remember the last time that I did before this week. I’ve spent time with my oldest sister by myself, but never really the middle one, especially since we’ve all moved out of Dad’s house. But I did this week, as my grandma’s other sister died on Sunday. The memorial service was on Wednesday morning. I didn’t get off work until 700p on Tuesday, and my dad took my grandma up earlier so they could go to the visitation Tuesday evening. My oldest sister is a teacher so she wouldn’t have been able to get off, but Kendall and I both wanted to go. So instead of leaving early on Wednesday morning (the service was at 1030a in Dallas), we left Tuesday night. She can talk. I think even more than Darby. Despite the years passing and us never really talking or being close, it was a good trip, minus the actual reason we were going. But a good ride there and back, even though we both had colds. I learned a lot about her. I learned about what she wants. I feel for her now that I really understand her situation. I don’t think she wants to be in it, she just doesn’t know how to get out...doesn’t feel like she can. I hope she can find the strength to do so. It’s not a bad situation, she just isn’t as happy as she could be. She isn’t as happy as she deserves to be. It’s out of convenience, and I don’t think it ever progressed out of that. I’m glad that she didn’t end up getting married; I think we all are. I hope that she gets those opportunities that she needs. I hope that she gets the chance to go to Oxford. I think it will be good for her. Scary, but good.
I think once school starts back that I’m going to find some sort of time to utilize the career counselling services that are available. I really don’t know what I want to do. I swore off teaching, which is pretty much the only thing I am able to do with either of my majors. I’m going to get a doctorate, there’s no doubt about that. I always wanted to be a doctor. It may not be a medical doctor after all, but I’m still going to be one. But I’ve thought about teaching. About teaching English to freshmen in high school. I never really thought of myself as being a teacher-I talk too fast, my writing is too sloppy, I’m too callous. But I saw a movie (I know it’s cheesy), and I got inspired. I wouldn’t want to do it in an area where I live, I would want to do it in the inner city. I want to help people. I know that much. And if I did decide to become a teacher, I think I’d do the most good doing so in the inner city. And having the summers off creates a temptation as well. I’d still be able to do mission work, and I’d still be able to spend a lot of time with my family. But I also can’t deny the attraction that medical school has. But I think that’s just the attraction, medical school. I’m not attracted to the life a doctor has to have, at least in the beginning stages. I think I just want to go to medical school to prove to myself that I could do it. I like the idea of being some sort of executive something in an organization like The Make a Wish Foundation, but I think it would be sad having to deal with granting children their last wish before dying. I think that would end up being too sad. I really don’t know what I want to do. I am interested in a lot of things, and I don’t know how to narrow that down into a career. Hopefully some sort of career counselling will be able to help me with that.
On a bit of a sad note, as stated earlier, my grandmother’s other sister just died. That means that both of her sisters have died in less than a year (the other one died in March). Though their deaths have had their share of sadness, it isn’t what makes me sad. I wasn’t very close to them, the oldest one more so than the younger one, but I am close to my grandma. I’ve grown up with her being in my life from the time I was born. She lived with us for the better part of my life and has basically played the mother role the best she could since I didn’t have one. And while she is healthy for her age, the reality I guess is starting to sink in that she won’t be around forever. I don’t know what I will do when she’s gone. I know I shouldn’t be thinking about it right now, but it’s hard not to.
I think once school starts back that I’m going to find some sort of time to utilize the career counselling services that are available. I really don’t know what I want to do. I swore off teaching, which is pretty much the only thing I am able to do with either of my majors. I’m going to get a doctorate, there’s no doubt about that. I always wanted to be a doctor. It may not be a medical doctor after all, but I’m still going to be one. But I’ve thought about teaching. About teaching English to freshmen in high school. I never really thought of myself as being a teacher-I talk too fast, my writing is too sloppy, I’m too callous. But I saw a movie (I know it’s cheesy), and I got inspired. I wouldn’t want to do it in an area where I live, I would want to do it in the inner city. I want to help people. I know that much. And if I did decide to become a teacher, I think I’d do the most good doing so in the inner city. And having the summers off creates a temptation as well. I’d still be able to do mission work, and I’d still be able to spend a lot of time with my family. But I also can’t deny the attraction that medical school has. But I think that’s just the attraction, medical school. I’m not attracted to the life a doctor has to have, at least in the beginning stages. I think I just want to go to medical school to prove to myself that I could do it. I like the idea of being some sort of executive something in an organization like The Make a Wish Foundation, but I think it would be sad having to deal with granting children their last wish before dying. I think that would end up being too sad. I really don’t know what I want to do. I am interested in a lot of things, and I don’t know how to narrow that down into a career. Hopefully some sort of career counselling will be able to help me with that.
On a bit of a sad note, as stated earlier, my grandmother’s other sister just died. That means that both of her sisters have died in less than a year (the other one died in March). Though their deaths have had their share of sadness, it isn’t what makes me sad. I wasn’t very close to them, the oldest one more so than the younger one, but I am close to my grandma. I’ve grown up with her being in my life from the time I was born. She lived with us for the better part of my life and has basically played the mother role the best she could since I didn’t have one. And while she is healthy for her age, the reality I guess is starting to sink in that she won’t be around forever. I don’t know what I will do when she’s gone. I know I shouldn’t be thinking about it right now, but it’s hard not to.