OOC: Because I think I'm Funny...
So Marvel Comics will occasionally puts out a comic called "What if...?" which does a whole "road not traveled" comic dedicated to the various characters and showing how some big events in their lives might have been if it had turned out differently.
Such comics scenarios include: "What if Spider-Man joined the Fantastic Four?" "What if Captain America became President?" "What if Iron Man had been a tailor?" "What if Daredevil wasn't blind?" "What if Norman Osborn had an affair with Gwen Stacy and had kids?"
So because I had a little time on my hand the last few days, I give you my Fandom High twists on What if...?
What if Toby was a more influential roommate?
"I'm telling you," Panthro growled. "Ever since he came back from that school he's been different."
"Oh, it's not that bad," Cheetarah said shaking her head. "He's growing up. It's not unusual for him to try new things."
At that point a very flamboyant Lion-O jumped into the room waving the Sword of Omens around as if it were a baton. "Hey guys! Check this out!"
"Thundercats!" he shouted as he thrust the sword into the air and followed it with a little hip popping action. "Hoooooooooooooo!"
"Okay," Cheetarah said off of Panthro's scowl. "Maybe it's time for us to have a little talk with him."
What if Barney Stinson really was Ron Weasley's grandfather?
Ron was looking mighty fine as he stepped into Caritas. His red hair was just recently trimmed and he had totally robed up for a night of debauchery and good times with his favorite wingman.
"Harry? The night is young, so are we and there are many many fine women to meet," he said scoping the bar. "Except that female Zombie chick. You do not want to hit that. Not that I know that personally. Just saying."
"Ron, I really don't want to be here," Harry sighed in frustration. "I mean... maybe I should go back to the dorm and see if Cho's head shows up in the fireplace. Maybe she can apparate over here and I can take her to the roof."
"Solid plan, my little friend," Ron said slapping Harry on the shoulder.
"I'm taller than you Ron."
"But let me make one little modification," Ron continued, apparently not hearing Harry at all. "That foxy young thing over there talking to her purse? Probably gremlin bit. Take her up to the roof and have sex with her! Crazy house elf-style."
Ron began to make some body and hand gestures that probably weren't appropriate for public viewing.
Harry shook his head. "Ron. No. That's not the plan. Plus she's two years older than me at least."
"Cougar. Hot. Crazy," Ron said taking Harry by the arm. "Put all that together and you got what I'd like to call... wait for it... Crazy Cougar action time."
"That's really clever, Ron," Harry said wistfully. "But she's not Cho."
"Exactly! Harry, let’s wrap this up. Statistic: every where you go in Fandom there’s always a Crazy Gremlin bit girl who has no idea where she’s at or who the hell she is. Do you see where I’m going with this?"
"Ron, No. I don't like this plan."
Ron still wasn't listening as he dragged his best buddy across the floor and up to the crazy-cougar-purse-talking hottie. "Excuse me," Ron said tapping the girl on the shoulder. "But have you met my friend, Harry?"
What if Luke Skywalker and Grace Winchester ended up together?
darthbarjosky: aaskljdfhlksljgalskdghlsdfiugyiuyhkjdfgkj
weeyappyblondes: What's wrong?
darthbarjosky: George Lucas reads FH
weeyappyblondes: WHAT??
darthbarjosky: Yes. And he's also a fan of SPN
weeyappyblondes: NO WAY! How is that bad news?
darthbarjosky: Serious retcon. I have to pick a new PB for Ben. His hair and eye color are all wrong now.
darthbarjosky: FML
weeyappyblondes: ...
weeyappyblondes: Is he going to get any shorter?
What if Edward Cullen came to Fandom High as a student?
Edward stood on the beach letting the wind blow through his hair. It was a cloudy day at Fandom so he felt free to walk around Fandom without worry about being caught in the sun and revealing his sparkly nature.
Leaving Bella was the hardest thing he had ever done but he knew it was her own good. Here at Fandom he could forget about her and move on with his un-life and she could move on with hers.
He took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of the sea and... Bella.
No. It was impossible. He turned around and saw her... No. Two of her standing on a dune watching him. And one of them was blonde? Could he be going MAD? Had love driven him to this?
He panicked and ran. As fast and far as he could until he was deep in the forest, far away from them both.
"What his problem?" Blysse asked.
"Long story," Layla said with a shrug. "Doppelganger issues."
Blysse returned the shrug. "Oh," she replied. "There is also new boy. Smell like Seer."
"Jacob?" Layla said with a grin. "Excellent. Let's go find him and mess with his head."
What if the Watcher's Council sent someone other than Xander to find out about Melaka Fray?
It was everything Mel could do not to kill him where he stood. If it wasn't for Dawn giving her pleading looks he would probably be dead already.
"Tell me, my charge," he said tossing an authentic Tom-Baker-Mr.-What-Striped-Scarf over his shoulder. "What were the results of your patrol?"
"Nothing," Mel growled.
"Oh? I see they eluded you once again."
"There wasn't anything to elude!" Mel shouted. "There aren't any vampires on the island."
"That's just what that vam-pyres want you to think."
Mel bit her lip as Dawn cringed.
"THERE AREN'T ANY RUTTING VAMPIRES!"
Andrew let out a rather pompous sounding chuckle. "My dear girl. Clearly you have no idea what you are talking about. I think it's best we go back to basics and start your training anew, shall we?"
"THAT'S IT!"
"Hey! Stop that! Cut it out! I could get hurt!"
For the third time this week, Dawn let out a long sigh and got up to end the conflict. "Mel? Put down the matches. You're not allowed to set Andrew on fire."
Yes. I really do think I'm funny.
Such comics scenarios include: "What if Spider-Man joined the Fantastic Four?" "What if Captain America became President?" "What if Iron Man had been a tailor?" "What if Daredevil wasn't blind?" "What if Norman Osborn had an affair with Gwen Stacy and had kids?"
So because I had a little time on my hand the last few days, I give you my Fandom High twists on What if...?
What if Toby was a more influential roommate?
"I'm telling you," Panthro growled. "Ever since he came back from that school he's been different."
"Oh, it's not that bad," Cheetarah said shaking her head. "He's growing up. It's not unusual for him to try new things."
At that point a very flamboyant Lion-O jumped into the room waving the Sword of Omens around as if it were a baton. "Hey guys! Check this out!"
"Thundercats!" he shouted as he thrust the sword into the air and followed it with a little hip popping action. "Hoooooooooooooo!"
"Okay," Cheetarah said off of Panthro's scowl. "Maybe it's time for us to have a little talk with him."
What if Barney Stinson really was Ron Weasley's grandfather?
Ron was looking mighty fine as he stepped into Caritas. His red hair was just recently trimmed and he had totally robed up for a night of debauchery and good times with his favorite wingman.
"Harry? The night is young, so are we and there are many many fine women to meet," he said scoping the bar. "Except that female Zombie chick. You do not want to hit that. Not that I know that personally. Just saying."
"Ron, I really don't want to be here," Harry sighed in frustration. "I mean... maybe I should go back to the dorm and see if Cho's head shows up in the fireplace. Maybe she can apparate over here and I can take her to the roof."
"Solid plan, my little friend," Ron said slapping Harry on the shoulder.
"I'm taller than you Ron."
"But let me make one little modification," Ron continued, apparently not hearing Harry at all. "That foxy young thing over there talking to her purse? Probably gremlin bit. Take her up to the roof and have sex with her! Crazy house elf-style."
Ron began to make some body and hand gestures that probably weren't appropriate for public viewing.
Harry shook his head. "Ron. No. That's not the plan. Plus she's two years older than me at least."
"Cougar. Hot. Crazy," Ron said taking Harry by the arm. "Put all that together and you got what I'd like to call... wait for it... Crazy Cougar action time."
"That's really clever, Ron," Harry said wistfully. "But she's not Cho."
"Exactly! Harry, let’s wrap this up. Statistic: every where you go in Fandom there’s always a Crazy Gremlin bit girl who has no idea where she’s at or who the hell she is. Do you see where I’m going with this?"
"Ron, No. I don't like this plan."
Ron still wasn't listening as he dragged his best buddy across the floor and up to the crazy-cougar-purse-talking hottie. "Excuse me," Ron said tapping the girl on the shoulder. "But have you met my friend, Harry?"
What if Luke Skywalker and Grace Winchester ended up together?
darthbarjosky: aaskljdfhlksljgalskdghlsdfiugyiuyhkjdfgkj
weeyappyblondes: What's wrong?
darthbarjosky: George Lucas reads FH
weeyappyblondes: WHAT??
darthbarjosky: Yes. And he's also a fan of SPN
weeyappyblondes: NO WAY! How is that bad news?
darthbarjosky: Serious retcon. I have to pick a new PB for Ben. His hair and eye color are all wrong now.
darthbarjosky: FML
weeyappyblondes: ...
weeyappyblondes: Is he going to get any shorter?
What if Edward Cullen came to Fandom High as a student?
Edward stood on the beach letting the wind blow through his hair. It was a cloudy day at Fandom so he felt free to walk around Fandom without worry about being caught in the sun and revealing his sparkly nature.
Leaving Bella was the hardest thing he had ever done but he knew it was her own good. Here at Fandom he could forget about her and move on with his un-life and she could move on with hers.
He took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of the sea and... Bella.
No. It was impossible. He turned around and saw her... No. Two of her standing on a dune watching him. And one of them was blonde? Could he be going MAD? Had love driven him to this?
He panicked and ran. As fast and far as he could until he was deep in the forest, far away from them both.
"What his problem?" Blysse asked.
"Long story," Layla said with a shrug. "Doppelganger issues."
Blysse returned the shrug. "Oh," she replied. "There is also new boy. Smell like Seer."
"Jacob?" Layla said with a grin. "Excellent. Let's go find him and mess with his head."
What if the Watcher's Council sent someone other than Xander to find out about Melaka Fray?
It was everything Mel could do not to kill him where he stood. If it wasn't for Dawn giving her pleading looks he would probably be dead already.
"Tell me, my charge," he said tossing an authentic Tom-Baker-Mr.-What-Striped-Scarf over his shoulder. "What were the results of your patrol?"
"Nothing," Mel growled.
"Oh? I see they eluded you once again."
"There wasn't anything to elude!" Mel shouted. "There aren't any vampires on the island."
"That's just what that vam-pyres want you to think."
Mel bit her lip as Dawn cringed.
"THERE AREN'T ANY RUTTING VAMPIRES!"
Andrew let out a rather pompous sounding chuckle. "My dear girl. Clearly you have no idea what you are talking about. I think it's best we go back to basics and start your training anew, shall we?"
"THAT'S IT!"
"Hey! Stop that! Cut it out! I could get hurt!"
For the third time this week, Dawn let out a long sigh and got up to end the conflict. "Mel? Put down the matches. You're not allowed to set Andrew on fire."
Yes. I really do think I'm funny.