(no subject)
I'm really bad with this whole journal thing....i really need to try and write at least every other day....anyway, the past few days have been pretty hectic....on friday i got to go home =) Jackie came with me so the ride really wasn't that bad....it was so good to c my family and especially ed...i didn't realize just how much i missed him until i saw him....friday night when i got there gary ed and tom were playing their video game...just like they always did...tom actually got up and gave me a HUGE hug...i guess he really does miss me =) my mom of course had food for me when i got there and i ate it all lol...i was thinking about going out but all i wanted to do was just stay and cuddle with ed...it was nice =D
saturday me ed and gary went to the mall for awhile...i visited jackie and ashton at work and later that night we all went to ashtons house to hang out..it was good seeing them..i really miss them...ashton has changed though...apparantly her and ozzie have something going on and its changing her...its going to b interesting to c what will happen in the fall when they r both away at college.....anyway...when we were at her house we all just hung out and played some trivial pursuit...it was nice to c them both...that night when i got home i fell asleep in eds arms...i feel so safe when im with him....
sunday i woke up somewhat early and i had to do some hw so ed came over and i did my paper for english while he played his video game...i attempted to study for my test but i didn't lol...i was going to leave sunday at like 5ish but decided to stay the night and leave the next morning...once again, me and ed fell asleep together...it was good seeing my parents and gary...i thought it was going to feel weird being back at my house but it was like i never left....
today was a busy busy day.....it started by me waking up at 5 am and driving back to gainesville...i got here in like 3 hours..i wasn't speeding at all lol...i had like 2 times the amount of stuff i came with though because my mom gave me soo much food...and my parents also boght me the vera bradley purse i wanted =) its so cute...i love it!!!...but ya, when i got here i tried to study for my test as much as i could since i didn't study AT ALL over the weekend...so then at 12:30 i had to go to class...i took my test and i guess i did alright....then i came home for a lil bit and then went to my 3:30 class...i was like seriously falling asleep...i was sooo tired...when i got done with that, kristen needed to get some things so i went with her....to make a long story short, we spent 2 hours looking for a borders to get her something she needed for chem....it was raining and there was traffic and it was so frustrating...she ended up missing her class so then we got something to eat....THEN we went to walmart because she needed a few things....when we got back to our dorm she had to do laundry so i went with her...THAT took like 2 hours....im so tired...im like over tired...ugh
another thing that has been on my mind lately is me and ed....i mean, i knew that this was going to be hard but i didn't think it would b THIS hard...like, when im at UF, im ok...i miss him of course but like, im ok...but when i saw him this weekend...i didn't want to leave...i hugged him and kissed him and didn't want to let go of him...ever...and it was so hard to come back here without him....i cry everynight b4 i go to bed thinking about him....i love him so much...and i know he loves me and cares for me but what if thats not enough....we talk a lot...he calls me, i call him...but i need more then that and im sure he does too...i want our relationship to work out more then anything....but i can't help but think about what could go wrong....i know we're going to b busy in the fall and might not b able to c eachother often...hes thinking about coming up here next year and we can live together...but what if he stays at FAU...then what...i can't do this for that long...i need to b with him...i need to touch him, hug him, kiss him, actually b physical..more then just talking on the phone....i dunno, mayb im over reacting...but all i know is i can't live without ed....hes my whole world and i can't imagine living my life without him by my side....i guess only time will tell...
saturday me ed and gary went to the mall for awhile...i visited jackie and ashton at work and later that night we all went to ashtons house to hang out..it was good seeing them..i really miss them...ashton has changed though...apparantly her and ozzie have something going on and its changing her...its going to b interesting to c what will happen in the fall when they r both away at college.....anyway...when we were at her house we all just hung out and played some trivial pursuit...it was nice to c them both...that night when i got home i fell asleep in eds arms...i feel so safe when im with him....
sunday i woke up somewhat early and i had to do some hw so ed came over and i did my paper for english while he played his video game...i attempted to study for my test but i didn't lol...i was going to leave sunday at like 5ish but decided to stay the night and leave the next morning...once again, me and ed fell asleep together...it was good seeing my parents and gary...i thought it was going to feel weird being back at my house but it was like i never left....
today was a busy busy day.....it started by me waking up at 5 am and driving back to gainesville...i got here in like 3 hours..i wasn't speeding at all lol...i had like 2 times the amount of stuff i came with though because my mom gave me soo much food...and my parents also boght me the vera bradley purse i wanted =) its so cute...i love it!!!...but ya, when i got here i tried to study for my test as much as i could since i didn't study AT ALL over the weekend...so then at 12:30 i had to go to class...i took my test and i guess i did alright....then i came home for a lil bit and then went to my 3:30 class...i was like seriously falling asleep...i was sooo tired...when i got done with that, kristen needed to get some things so i went with her....to make a long story short, we spent 2 hours looking for a borders to get her something she needed for chem....it was raining and there was traffic and it was so frustrating...she ended up missing her class so then we got something to eat....THEN we went to walmart because she needed a few things....when we got back to our dorm she had to do laundry so i went with her...THAT took like 2 hours....im so tired...im like over tired...ugh
another thing that has been on my mind lately is me and ed....i mean, i knew that this was going to be hard but i didn't think it would b THIS hard...like, when im at UF, im ok...i miss him of course but like, im ok...but when i saw him this weekend...i didn't want to leave...i hugged him and kissed him and didn't want to let go of him...ever...and it was so hard to come back here without him....i cry everynight b4 i go to bed thinking about him....i love him so much...and i know he loves me and cares for me but what if thats not enough....we talk a lot...he calls me, i call him...but i need more then that and im sure he does too...i want our relationship to work out more then anything....but i can't help but think about what could go wrong....i know we're going to b busy in the fall and might not b able to c eachother often...hes thinking about coming up here next year and we can live together...but what if he stays at FAU...then what...i can't do this for that long...i need to b with him...i need to touch him, hug him, kiss him, actually b physical..more then just talking on the phone....i dunno, mayb im over reacting...but all i know is i can't live without ed....hes my whole world and i can't imagine living my life without him by my side....i guess only time will tell...