(no subject)
Dan, Rach and my mum have all mentioned how they are thinking about committing suicide at the moment. My mum doesn't cos of me, and I feel awful... she also doesn't leave cos of me, and I think that she should be entitled to make her own decisions, not have to be a mum all the time. Not that I want her to commit suicide, I really don't... but leaving home might be best for her.
Rach I just wanna hug and tell her everything will be ok, and how well she is doing, and how much I value her friendship. Her texts make me laugh out loud and if feels weird if I have to go a day without talking to her.
Dan.... I mean, he just can't do it...... but I feel he is most likely to. I would not be able to cope if any of them did it, all for different reasons, but I guess I can't see mum doing it, I can imagine her leaving home rather than anything else. With Dan, I feel there is a very real risk. I would be selfish to ask him not to........ he doesn't think he has a life at all.... no job, house, relationship.............. I would be just shattered.
It makes me wonder......... I am not strong enough for people to die.... especially through suicide, things aren't exactly great for me either and I cannot imagine how hard it would be if it ever happened. It is so hard listening to them all describe why they would, and how they feel.
I keep thinking that maybe it should be me. That maybe it will be me. And that my pain could go away.
Rach I just wanna hug and tell her everything will be ok, and how well she is doing, and how much I value her friendship. Her texts make me laugh out loud and if feels weird if I have to go a day without talking to her.
Dan.... I mean, he just can't do it...... but I feel he is most likely to. I would not be able to cope if any of them did it, all for different reasons, but I guess I can't see mum doing it, I can imagine her leaving home rather than anything else. With Dan, I feel there is a very real risk. I would be selfish to ask him not to........ he doesn't think he has a life at all.... no job, house, relationship.............. I would be just shattered.
It makes me wonder......... I am not strong enough for people to die.... especially through suicide, things aren't exactly great for me either and I cannot imagine how hard it would be if it ever happened. It is so hard listening to them all describe why they would, and how they feel.
I keep thinking that maybe it should be me. That maybe it will be me. And that my pain could go away.