(no subject)
Well Ellyn has 30 days. Escrow closes in 30 days. Rachel is going to the University of Memphis, which is absolutely awesome for her because shes wanted that for a long ass time. Just sucks that we're losing two more people. First Brian and Mark, next will be Ellyn and then Rach. Today has just been full of unexpected events. Stuff from the past has been resurfacing lately and I'm just a mess. Havent really truly cried until today. I'm upset, anxious, and most of all...I feel alone. I absolutely hate saying goodbye and I guess its something I should get used to, but I dont think I ever will. Saying goodbye to Jarrod is bad enough and I know I will see him in a few weeks. Saying goodbye to two of my closest friends for who knows how long is going to be much harder. I dont want us to ever lose touch. Two of the most awesome girls in the world, and you know im not a huge fan of girls so that really says something! You both deserve the best. Wish I wasn't being so selfish right now...Maybe I feel like I'm getting left behind. People are moving on with their lives and here I am, wanting everything to stay the same. Change is good for us, I just wish it didnt have to happen so soon. I was just getting comfortable again. We were all really starting to bond and got over our lil girl bitchy issues. Everything happens for a reason, I guess I just need to be held right now. Need to cry and get over every emotion I'm feeling. With my grammas birthday coming up at the end of the month and the anniversary of her death next month....then all this, I'm just extremely overwhelmed. Wish I could just rewind time back to last summer, we were all happy, no one was leaving and we were fresh out of high school. *sigh* well yeah thats my little emotional outburst, thanks for reading....you can dismiss it now. *bow* Im out.