may have voted
I stepped into the lake association clubhouse at about 7:15 PM and walked over to the table marked "District 17". The kindly volunteer ladies asked me my name, which I happily provided. "But I'm 'undeclared' right now," I said.
"That's no problem. We'll take care of that. Oh, but wait. It says Republican here."
"Oh, well there is certainly no way that can be correct."
"See? Right here."
"Interesting. That's my name there. But that's my father's signature below it. And his party affiliation. And he's deceased."
"Oh dear. I don't suppose you're planning to vote Republican are you?"
"Definitely not."
A call was made to the county seat. My situation was described, then described again, and then a third time. Volunteer Lady was extremely helpful and I felt terrible for putting her through the hassle, especially at the end of the day. But I'll be damned if they're going to keep me in the books as a Republican. Hell no.
"They say you voted in a primary in 1999."
"Nope. I've never voted in a primary before, and I wasn't even living in the area in '99."
"And when did your father pass?"
I had to think about it before answering. "2005." Volunteer Lady gave me a strange look. She was probably thinking the same thing I was: How do you not remember what year your father died? It wasn't my proudest moment, I'll admit.
"They say you'll need to fill out a provisional ballot."
"Great."
"I've never done one of these before, but we'll figure it out." A second Volunteer Lady was called in on the assist. An alarmingly Official-Looking orange bag was brought out. There was a seal on the zipper which required breaking. Envelopes were pulled from inside and forms were put together. I was instructed not to tear off the top sheet. "Whatever you do. Don't tear this off. Whatever you do." Like it was a live grenade.
I assured them both that I would do everything in my power to avoid the temptation to tear off the top sheet and they walked me over to a seat where I could fill out the ballot forms. It turned out to be remarkably difficult to put the ballot in the envelope and seal it without tearing off the top sheet, but I did my duty. I was in this deep, I wasn't going to screw it up now.
Envelope in hand, top sheet intact and untorn, I returned to the table of the Volunteer Ladies. "So, is that it?" I asked as I handed my ballot over. "I think so," Volunteer Lady replied, not entirely convincingly. "We'll figure it out from here." I thanked them for their time and effort, apologized for all the hassle, and walked out the door.
I'm not sure, but I think I may have voted.
"That's no problem. We'll take care of that. Oh, but wait. It says Republican here."
"Oh, well there is certainly no way that can be correct."
"See? Right here."
"Interesting. That's my name there. But that's my father's signature below it. And his party affiliation. And he's deceased."
"Oh dear. I don't suppose you're planning to vote Republican are you?"
"Definitely not."
A call was made to the county seat. My situation was described, then described again, and then a third time. Volunteer Lady was extremely helpful and I felt terrible for putting her through the hassle, especially at the end of the day. But I'll be damned if they're going to keep me in the books as a Republican. Hell no.
"They say you voted in a primary in 1999."
"Nope. I've never voted in a primary before, and I wasn't even living in the area in '99."
"And when did your father pass?"
I had to think about it before answering. "2005." Volunteer Lady gave me a strange look. She was probably thinking the same thing I was: How do you not remember what year your father died? It wasn't my proudest moment, I'll admit.
"They say you'll need to fill out a provisional ballot."
"Great."
"I've never done one of these before, but we'll figure it out." A second Volunteer Lady was called in on the assist. An alarmingly Official-Looking orange bag was brought out. There was a seal on the zipper which required breaking. Envelopes were pulled from inside and forms were put together. I was instructed not to tear off the top sheet. "Whatever you do. Don't tear this off. Whatever you do." Like it was a live grenade.
I assured them both that I would do everything in my power to avoid the temptation to tear off the top sheet and they walked me over to a seat where I could fill out the ballot forms. It turned out to be remarkably difficult to put the ballot in the envelope and seal it without tearing off the top sheet, but I did my duty. I was in this deep, I wasn't going to screw it up now.
Envelope in hand, top sheet intact and untorn, I returned to the table of the Volunteer Ladies. "So, is that it?" I asked as I handed my ballot over. "I think so," Volunteer Lady replied, not entirely convincingly. "We'll figure it out from here." I thanked them for their time and effort, apologized for all the hassle, and walked out the door.
I'm not sure, but I think I may have voted.