(no subject)

[ikissedastar]

i watched a show tonight called "my so called life" and it made me think that life is short.and as scared as i am of death i would rather live and be with ryan.he is so perfect.he is the best boyfriend a girl could possibly want.he takes great care of me.and sometimes i think i am not good enough for him.because he does all this great stuff for me and what do i do for him?yeah i love him to death and do little stuff here and there for him but i do not have money to buy him everything i want to.weve had our ups and downs but underneath it all i really love that boy.yes i am crazy at times and scream and yell but i dont know why.i have abondment issues thanks to my lovely mother.its not that i am scared of being alone but i am scared of being with someone and them wanting to leave me for a little bit.it happened numerous times when i was little.and it scarred me for life.i am done for now.<3
i want a girl best friend that i can talk to when i cant with ryan.wishful thinking.

p.s
I LOVE YOU RYAN SWINNEY!!YOU ARE MY BESTFRIEND,BOYFRIEND,AND LOVER.