(no subject)
read this only if you want to hear my complaining bc i'm just not really feelin life right now
so i don't know right now... a lot of good stuff and a lot of bad crap.... it's probably not a lot at all but it's one of those things that when most people look at it, it seems like something very small but when i think about it... it's mulitplied exponentially. There isn't even any reason why i should feel so crappy but i'm pretty good at ruminating over things and making myself feel worse and worse.
Basically i've been feelin something for this girl lately. It started out looking really good. One weekend we hung out, talked on the phone a lot and just a good ol' time. The next week was okay... she didn't seem as much fun as during the weekend, but i just thought it had to do with school or something bc she had been stressing like no other. We hung out again Friday night but only for a little bit bc we both had to get up for PSAT the next morning. When i saw her at the PSAT, she seemed distant with me.
The whole next week i just backed off bc i dont want her to feel like i'm smothering her, and i know that i have a problem with not knowing when i'm annoying people and i didn't want that to be the case this time.
What i think is really gay, is i'm always hating the drama that everyone makes out of nothing, and i just don't even talk about it bc it's all so freaking gay. But this time i let myself get caught up in all the drama of hating on this girl for leading me on. But the thing is all the drama went on inside my head. No one knows about this, and i'm not even sure anyone knew for sure that i was feelin for a girl. She didn't do anything to me except be nice, and she could very well still be caught up in and stressed out about school that she's not really having time to give to anyone. I don't really have any reason to be mad at her, and i pretty much hate myself for being upset with her now.
.... i don't know what to do right now, except be emo... so i'm gonna go do that
so i don't know right now... a lot of good stuff and a lot of bad crap.... it's probably not a lot at all but it's one of those things that when most people look at it, it seems like something very small but when i think about it... it's mulitplied exponentially. There isn't even any reason why i should feel so crappy but i'm pretty good at ruminating over things and making myself feel worse and worse.
Basically i've been feelin something for this girl lately. It started out looking really good. One weekend we hung out, talked on the phone a lot and just a good ol' time. The next week was okay... she didn't seem as much fun as during the weekend, but i just thought it had to do with school or something bc she had been stressing like no other. We hung out again Friday night but only for a little bit bc we both had to get up for PSAT the next morning. When i saw her at the PSAT, she seemed distant with me.
The whole next week i just backed off bc i dont want her to feel like i'm smothering her, and i know that i have a problem with not knowing when i'm annoying people and i didn't want that to be the case this time.
What i think is really gay, is i'm always hating the drama that everyone makes out of nothing, and i just don't even talk about it bc it's all so freaking gay. But this time i let myself get caught up in all the drama of hating on this girl for leading me on. But the thing is all the drama went on inside my head. No one knows about this, and i'm not even sure anyone knew for sure that i was feelin for a girl. She didn't do anything to me except be nice, and she could very well still be caught up in and stressed out about school that she's not really having time to give to anyone. I don't really have any reason to be mad at her, and i pretty much hate myself for being upset with her now.
.... i don't know what to do right now, except be emo... so i'm gonna go do that