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[ijk_mno]

He wakes up, and it takes a moment to sort out that yes, it all really happened.

"Matt?"

He feels fuzzy, and like he might be hallucinating. And like if he moves, he'll come apart at the seams.

"Matt, where are you?"

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[gamerspy]

Matt's right at L's side: not in the bed, but on a chair next to him. Two chairs, really; he's got his feet propped up on the other, and he's covered in blankets and pillows. Thanks to Miles and Teru, all he's had to do since L got out of surgery is sit, worry, pace, try not to smoke, and occasionally doze.

Which is what he was doing, but he jerks awake immediately, reaching for L's hand.

"I'm here, I'm here. I'm here, man."

[ijk_mno]

"Matt, I feel inside out."

His hand clenches around Matt's.

[gamerspy]

"Do you need anything?"

He pulls himself out of the chair, dislodging pillows and cushions as he moves to kneel down next to the bed. The goggles are on, and he feels shaky with relief when L's hand grips his.

[ijk_mno]

"Am I allowed water?"

He smiles- he has to smile. Matt is right there, and he isn't going anywhere. No matter what just happened.

[gamerspy]

"Absolutely."

Matt moves forward as if to give L a kiss - then hesitates, gives L's hand a squeeze, and gets up. Crying all over your boyfriend when they've just had improvised surgery and all they want is some water... well, there's probably better timing.

There's a little crate of bottled water at the other side of the bed. Matt takes two; one he dumps on the chair he's been living in for the last day or so, and the other he twists open, pouring the water into a cup. Then he kneels back down, holding the cup to L's lips, a little uncertain.

"I can just - if you don't want to sit up."

[ijk_mno]

He reaches up and hangs on to Matt's sweater, having a sip of Matt's water and trying to tug him closer. He wants a sip, but more importantly, he wants a kiss.

"Are you all right? Do you have someone here for you?"

[gamerspy]

"I've never been better."

He holds the cup steady to L's lip for a moment before kissing him, once then again, and again. Seeing L awake - he can't imagine anything better than that, not after all the worry and the dragging hours.

"What do you need? Are you feeling okay? -- apart from inside out."

[ijk_mno]

"I think I'm still drugged." He's still hanging on, as determinedly as he can.

"Matt, I'm so sorry."

[gamerspy]

"You should be. I know it's boring here, man, but giving yourself a life-threatening illness for fun just isn't cool."

[ijk_mno]

"I thought it might make a nice," he winces, "change of pace."

[gamerspy]

He puts the cup down and takes L's hand in both of his, kissing his fingers.

"It's definitely been an experience, at least."

[ijk_mno]

"At least it was something we could fix."

As surgeries go, that was simple enough.

"How long did they say I should be lying here for?"

[gamerspy]

"Longer than this, anyway."

Matt... might be on the slightly paranoid side, when it comes to this stuff. He's hoping L will resent it less than Mello did.

[ijk_mno]

"As long as you want me to."

He finally takes a deep breath, and looks down at his stomach, lifting the loose shirt a little. Seeing the gauze on his side makes it a lot more real, somehow.

[gamerspy]

"It shouldn't be too long. You just, you know - need to be careful."

He watches L's face, carefully.

"-- does it hurt much?"

[ijk_mno]

"I can't tell. Is that strange? There's a hole in me, a piece that's gone- I should feel hollow."

He just feels drunk.