[FIC] Surrender (G-ri)
Title: Surrender (theme: "Let's go love soldier")
Fandom: Big Bang
Pairing: G-Ri
Rating: R for naughty bits
Genre: Drama/Angst
Summary: They say that love is like a battlefield...
The battle is quiet at first and doesn't begin with gunshots. It begins when you first make it back into big bang, the final 5th member, and Jiyong slings his arm around you and whispers “I knew you'd make it,” in the middle of the crowded room of well-wishers.
Yes, it starts out small, but Kwon Jiyong is brilliant in all things; the art of war is no exception. He lays traps for you, mines buried deep beneath the surface, and you, new to this all, selfish and bold and so, so overconfident, step blindly into the field. Casual touches and late night drinks ('Is that soju, Maknae? Don't worry, I won't tell anyone - if you share') worm their way into his life, assassins disguised as jokes, entertainment, fan-service. You're tricked so easily. You run headlong into it, unarmed and defenseless.
You were doomed from the start, really.
You think you know hand-to-hand combat, you know how to kiss and how to hold someone (your first and last lover, soldier saw to that) but when Jiyong finally pulls you into his room, drunk on him and on the success of your album and on the look he's giving you, you realize that you don't really know anything at all. You may have conquered one nation, but Jiyong's hands tell the story of a man that can stand atop the world, and as those hands slide down your thin frame your foggy mind whispers that that might not be such a bad thing, to spend the rest of your life at his feet and in his service.
He breathes hot words into your flesh, poetry, lyrics, unfinished and perfect bullets that pierce you right where he wants them to, and you come into his hand, practically on his command. He smirks, looking at you, and he knows the he's got you now.
Now it's only a matter of time.
He breaks you down, makes it so you can't live without him, lets you take him, looks up from beneath you, gasping “Seunghyun, Seunghyun,”. Eyes never leaving yours until you can't take it anymore, dropping your head into the dip in his collarbone, another loss for you. He stares over your shoulder, mouths something against your flesh, and you want to ask what, but you're afraid, so you kiss him instead. Steal the words from his lips, your only small victory in a sea of defeat.
Time passes and the battle drags on. You get even bigger, more famous (because of him). You fall deeper (always him).
The end, as it often does, comes swiftly and as quietly as the beginning. You are leaning against the door and he is leaning out the window, rapping his newest song for you into the sparkling night. It's sweet and fast and light and sounds like success. And you're in there now too, another love story, another verse, another drop in the well.
“I love you.”
The words slip out before you can stop them, and you don't want to anyways. He freezes, and is silent, and you expect all sorts of things when he turns to face you, laughter, disgust, anything, but instead there is nothing, no surprise in his gaze but no satisfaction either. You understand for the first time the bitterness in victory as well as defeat - there are always casualties, and as they say, no one really wins in wars.
He walks to you , arms around you again, and it's like the first time all over again, only this time the breath that ghosts across his ear is cool, unflinching.
“Thank you.”
Jiyong passes by, out, and this time it is you by the window, broken but strangely calm. And somehow you remember every word, sing it softly ('love? don’t joke, let’s see how long it will last, go run' ) one last time.
Your shirt, loose and flowing, flaps white surrender in the heavy air.
Again, un-beta'd, really gonna try to make less-depressing fic in the future, I swear! :