..I think it means something
Sometimes the feeling hurts a lot, sometimes I can barely feel it. I mean I can still get up and go to school, and somehow mange to keep an okay smile on my face. I still know how to have fun, and I am learning how to live without. I still can't think of anyone the same way, as I thought about him. I think it's suppose to take time. Because if it didn't, I guess if it didn't, it didn't mean anything. And it meant a lot to me. How could you spend so long with someone, and share so many things with someone and not have it mean anything. There wasn't a time when it wasn't worth it, it was worth more than anything in the world. Worth more than the tears, and the fights and the fuck yous. It was worth the hand holding, and the way you would smell my hair and smile. Worth the falling sleep next to you, and worth waking up next to you still holding me. Through everything, it was all worth it. Dreams mean something, and I had one last night about you. I woke up with a smile, because this dream gave me hope. I learned a lot from just a dream. And it made me alright today, and it's going to keep be going. I learned I have a lot of growing up to do, and that fate can only take you so far. The rest is up to us. I still wonder what you're doing, and if you miss me. But I rather not know if you do, or if you don't. Because I've just gotten to the fact where I am fine with what I see in the mirror. I just want to remember us they way we were, the day before we broke up. Sitting in the back of that car, you holding me. And you getting out of the car and turning back to say I love you one last time before going in your house. Some people say it's better to forget and move on. And I know onnne day far, far from now, I'll move on. But you never forget your first true loove.