Up on rooftops, our love wont stop, close to the heavens with you
Over the last year.. after going away college, dealing with tons of new situations, meeting new people, losing old friends, making amends with past enemies,sober nights, drunken nights, realizing Im over things in my past, getting my heart broken,being forgotten, forgetting, breaking hearts, family problems, friend problems, regrets, miracles, happiness, depression, good grades, bad grades, sickness, car wrecks, car rides, fights, make-ups, falling in love, figuring out the people who will matter in the future.. I think I have finally figured out who I want to be. I know I am at least on the right path.
I have realized so much over the last year and met so many amazing people. Im finally, for once in my life, completely over my past, and all the stupid things I have done. I have peace with myself, and others. Granted, I do wish I could have changed a lot of the things I did, they have all built together to help me grow into a better person now.
I owe a lot of this realization to a few people. First off, the biggest impact on my life,Chris. My boyfriend,best friend, and love. Just when I was ready to give up on going to college, my friends,my family, and myself he came into my life. It was completely unexpected, almost as if it was fate. Once I had nearly given up on everything he picked me up and has helped me get everything back together. Although, we both had our share of tough times in this relationship, I couldn't ask for anything to be different. I have never in my life felt so sure of anything, or cared about someone so much. When I am with him, I feel safe from all the awful things in the world. He is my support and go-to guy, he seems to keep me in line and safe. I feel so at home when I am with him. I cant even begin to express in words the things he has done for me or how much I love him. We have such an amazing relationship and friendship. I am so comfortable around him, and we have a lot of the same goals,interests, morals,background and dreams. He is my everything. I'm so thankful every day that he came into my life, and I know no matter what happens he will always remain a huge part of myself, and my life. We are going to make it through this long summer and all the hard times that life my throw at us. I know in my heart that I will have so many more memories with him, the kind that I will cherish in my heart forever.
Another is, Drewbe, one of my amazing friends at school. He has such a good heart and good intentions its hard to find that in people today alot of the time.He sat and listened to me bitch, complain, and cry whenever things went wrong. He took care of Chris through so many bad nights. And was always willing to listen to either of us.
Another person I owe a lot to is Heidi. Although, at times she got me into trouble, she was always there for me during first semester. She is what kinda of held me together for so long to get me through school. She was one of my best friends. Some of the things we went through no one else could really understand. But she left at the end of the semester, I felt so lost and alone when she was gone. But miraculously Chris came into my life shortly after, and went above and beyond everything she had done.
My parents and family also have helped me out a lot. Though they are so hard on me and make me feel so small at times, when they knew I fighting depression, everyone in my family checked up on me and wanted me to get better. They loved me, and supported me.
There are so many other people that have came into my life over the last year that have all combined together to make up a wonderful group of friends and people. And I am so grateful everyday,that God has put them into my life.
Everyone makes their mistakes, has their regrets, but I know mine have taught me.
And I probably will make a few more in my day, but at least I know I have amazing people supporting me, and in the end it will all work out. I am putting the past behind me now, and concentrating on this moment and my future. Everyday I am going to try and improve my life, and help the others around me. I want to make an impact and help and care for all these people who have done the same for me. Maybe thats why I am always pushing myself to be better and am so hard on myself, its because I feel like I need to do everything possible to even show a fraction of what they have done for me.
I have started taking better care of myself, working out everyday, eating right, not drinking hardly at all. I finally know exactly what I want in my life, and these people are it. I have an amazing boy to love, and loves me back, and great friends that will always be there. There's a reason why the people from my past haven't made it to my future, and I'm grateful that they have set themselves apart from the ones who actually care and matter.
Im happy. Im determined, and ready to start living my life the way it should have always been.
There's so much more I could say to express the way I am feeling but it would go on forever. This is just what matters to me the most right now.
I have realized so much over the last year and met so many amazing people. Im finally, for once in my life, completely over my past, and all the stupid things I have done. I have peace with myself, and others. Granted, I do wish I could have changed a lot of the things I did, they have all built together to help me grow into a better person now.
I owe a lot of this realization to a few people. First off, the biggest impact on my life,Chris. My boyfriend,best friend, and love. Just when I was ready to give up on going to college, my friends,my family, and myself he came into my life. It was completely unexpected, almost as if it was fate. Once I had nearly given up on everything he picked me up and has helped me get everything back together. Although, we both had our share of tough times in this relationship, I couldn't ask for anything to be different. I have never in my life felt so sure of anything, or cared about someone so much. When I am with him, I feel safe from all the awful things in the world. He is my support and go-to guy, he seems to keep me in line and safe. I feel so at home when I am with him. I cant even begin to express in words the things he has done for me or how much I love him. We have such an amazing relationship and friendship. I am so comfortable around him, and we have a lot of the same goals,interests, morals,background and dreams. He is my everything. I'm so thankful every day that he came into my life, and I know no matter what happens he will always remain a huge part of myself, and my life. We are going to make it through this long summer and all the hard times that life my throw at us. I know in my heart that I will have so many more memories with him, the kind that I will cherish in my heart forever.
Another is, Drewbe, one of my amazing friends at school. He has such a good heart and good intentions its hard to find that in people today alot of the time.He sat and listened to me bitch, complain, and cry whenever things went wrong. He took care of Chris through so many bad nights. And was always willing to listen to either of us.
Another person I owe a lot to is Heidi. Although, at times she got me into trouble, she was always there for me during first semester. She is what kinda of held me together for so long to get me through school. She was one of my best friends. Some of the things we went through no one else could really understand. But she left at the end of the semester, I felt so lost and alone when she was gone. But miraculously Chris came into my life shortly after, and went above and beyond everything she had done.
My parents and family also have helped me out a lot. Though they are so hard on me and make me feel so small at times, when they knew I fighting depression, everyone in my family checked up on me and wanted me to get better. They loved me, and supported me.
There are so many other people that have came into my life over the last year that have all combined together to make up a wonderful group of friends and people. And I am so grateful everyday,that God has put them into my life.
Everyone makes their mistakes, has their regrets, but I know mine have taught me.
And I probably will make a few more in my day, but at least I know I have amazing people supporting me, and in the end it will all work out. I am putting the past behind me now, and concentrating on this moment and my future. Everyday I am going to try and improve my life, and help the others around me. I want to make an impact and help and care for all these people who have done the same for me. Maybe thats why I am always pushing myself to be better and am so hard on myself, its because I feel like I need to do everything possible to even show a fraction of what they have done for me.
I have started taking better care of myself, working out everyday, eating right, not drinking hardly at all. I finally know exactly what I want in my life, and these people are it. I have an amazing boy to love, and loves me back, and great friends that will always be there. There's a reason why the people from my past haven't made it to my future, and I'm grateful that they have set themselves apart from the ones who actually care and matter.
Im happy. Im determined, and ready to start living my life the way it should have always been.
There's so much more I could say to express the way I am feeling but it would go on forever. This is just what matters to me the most right now.