Gush of Thoughts
A sudden gush of thought and i feel the need to pen it down.
I feel that there are too many shallow thinking towards a Chinese-Muslim get-together.
Before meeting Z, it never cross my mind that i will ever have a boyfriend of a different race, but, 2 years plus have passed since Z and I got together,and being together with Z for the past 2 years have taught me things. I have seen for myself the Malay culture that i never expect myself to experience, Hari Raya Puasa, Malay Wedding, learning about death in the Muslim society in school have certainly widen my horizon (though it's just a tiny little bit). I have learn to be more considerate towards other religion and understand the difference between the culture that i grew up with and the culture that i may have to live with in the future.
However, in these 2 years, whenever i say i have a Malay boyfriend, i will get questions like: "Ooo. So you cannot eat pork already ah?", "So you are converting to their religion?", there's one more that really annoys me, "so next time your wedding would be at the void deck ah?" I dont know why, but i really dont like it when people ask me these type of questions. It just show their shallow understanding towards the Malay society.
I just hope to clear any misconception people may have of a Muslim Wedding and the culture, so, to answer the above questions, Yes, Pork is forbidden in the religion, and if i get married to Z, i will have to convert to become a Chinese-Muslim. and no, i do not necessary have to hold my wedding at the void deck just because majority have done so. The reason for the wedding to be held at the void deck is because in the culture, it is taught that wedding shouldnt be too much of a lavish affair and should be kept within one's financial ability. Given that majority of the Malays in Singapore live in the HDB, obviously, the cheapest option would be the void deck, where they will invite their friends over for a dinner. Couples are free to choose between Community Centres, Country Clubs or Hotels too, if they have the financial means to start with, but of course.
Thinking back to console myself regarding these comments i received, I know they are concerned about me and they have the mindset of seeing me and Z getting married in the future. Thank you, and I certainly look forward to carving my future with Z too. He is a really nice guy who have been working hard for a better future, and he is one who knows me real well (:
But right now, Im taking one step at a time, starting from learning the language, and adjusting my eating habits, learning about their basic ettiqute like "salam"(greeting) when you see someone of your senior, and eating with my right hand etc. i have been learning to fast during the Ramadan since last year too. Bit by bit, im gaining more knowledge to know how and what i should do to get closer to the culture. Conversion is a major issue that is still too early and sensitive to think about till i learn more about it.
Z told me that converting to a religion is not based on the love that I have for him, but should be based on the love I have for the religion. So, i still have alot more to learn about the religion before Z and I takes our relationship to a further level. We are only Twenty-One right now, there's still tons of things to learn and overcome, I would also hope that Z will learn more about my culture, and hopefully in time to come, he will master Mandarin too. he is already a Cantonese-frenzy guy now, so we will just let nature take its course. (:
For now, I just got to learn to be more understanding to people who have no cross-cultural experience and educate them within my means. I hope they will be more tactical and pose a sensible question too.
I feel that there are too many shallow thinking towards a Chinese-Muslim get-together.
Before meeting Z, it never cross my mind that i will ever have a boyfriend of a different race, but, 2 years plus have passed since Z and I got together,and being together with Z for the past 2 years have taught me things. I have seen for myself the Malay culture that i never expect myself to experience, Hari Raya Puasa, Malay Wedding, learning about death in the Muslim society in school have certainly widen my horizon (though it's just a tiny little bit). I have learn to be more considerate towards other religion and understand the difference between the culture that i grew up with and the culture that i may have to live with in the future.
However, in these 2 years, whenever i say i have a Malay boyfriend, i will get questions like: "Ooo. So you cannot eat pork already ah?", "So you are converting to their religion?", there's one more that really annoys me, "so next time your wedding would be at the void deck ah?" I dont know why, but i really dont like it when people ask me these type of questions. It just show their shallow understanding towards the Malay society.
I just hope to clear any misconception people may have of a Muslim Wedding and the culture, so, to answer the above questions, Yes, Pork is forbidden in the religion, and if i get married to Z, i will have to convert to become a Chinese-Muslim. and no, i do not necessary have to hold my wedding at the void deck just because majority have done so. The reason for the wedding to be held at the void deck is because in the culture, it is taught that wedding shouldnt be too much of a lavish affair and should be kept within one's financial ability. Given that majority of the Malays in Singapore live in the HDB, obviously, the cheapest option would be the void deck, where they will invite their friends over for a dinner. Couples are free to choose between Community Centres, Country Clubs or Hotels too, if they have the financial means to start with, but of course.
Thinking back to console myself regarding these comments i received, I know they are concerned about me and they have the mindset of seeing me and Z getting married in the future. Thank you, and I certainly look forward to carving my future with Z too. He is a really nice guy who have been working hard for a better future, and he is one who knows me real well (:
But right now, Im taking one step at a time, starting from learning the language, and adjusting my eating habits, learning about their basic ettiqute like "salam"(greeting) when you see someone of your senior, and eating with my right hand etc. i have been learning to fast during the Ramadan since last year too. Bit by bit, im gaining more knowledge to know how and what i should do to get closer to the culture. Conversion is a major issue that is still too early and sensitive to think about till i learn more about it.
Z told me that converting to a religion is not based on the love that I have for him, but should be based on the love I have for the religion. So, i still have alot more to learn about the religion before Z and I takes our relationship to a further level. We are only Twenty-One right now, there's still tons of things to learn and overcome, I would also hope that Z will learn more about my culture, and hopefully in time to come, he will master Mandarin too. he is already a Cantonese-frenzy guy now, so we will just let nature take its course. (:
For now, I just got to learn to be more understanding to people who have no cross-cultural experience and educate them within my means. I hope they will be more tactical and pose a sensible question too.