(no subject)

[iingeringflame]

i really wanna know when things are going to start getting better.
or easier is even something i would be okay with.
i want the crying at night to stop.
i want the wishing, wanting, and thinking to stop.
things are done.
hes dead.
in a freezer somewhere.
body parts chillin in glass jars.
sick.
i dont know why i think like that.
it makes me sad.
but thats all i see now.

weird.
sometimes i think he will come home.
sometimes i think he was just holding his breath.
maybe it hasnt hit me yet.
maybe i think the memorial was pretend.
people said a lot of nice things about him.
a few i wondered if we were talking about the same guy.
soft on his kids. lol
yeah.
he was a good dad.
soft?
yeah. right.

if this is all pretend i hope that he comes home soon.
mom misses him like woah.