listen I understand how you feel. I pretty much had no choice and had to up and leave everything that ever meant anything to me. I didn't even get to say goodbye. right now my friends are sad and pissed off but they also see this as a good thing for me. now for jesse, I wasn't the one who came to him and asked him to move with me. he had a problem and he asked me. either way, I pretty much had to move to Ohio. my living arrangements were not working out. when jesse told me, I was shocked. I didn't know what to think. and actually all day yesterday while I was packing and dropping my classes and all I was thinking about not only my friends, but you and graham.
I don't want you and graham to feel that I am stealing jesse away from you guys. I'm not holding a gun to his head, and he pretty much made his mind up before I even did. when I woke up yesterday I was planning on moving into a friends house, and jesse resolving his issues with his parents. life fucked up, and that didn't happen, but jesse's decision is his decision. I told him thousands of times I couldn't make this decision for him, because he did ask me to. there was no way in hell I was gonna be the final yes or no on leaving everything he has ever known.
I'm having a hard enough time as it is. I have to start a new just as jesse has to but I duno... I have no idea where to go with this. all I'm saying is that I wish you wouldn't feel that I made jesse do this. its his decision. I've told him many times to think about this. take time, and even talk to his dad again, but he is hell bent on doing this. hey you never know, maybe in a week he'll hate it and move back and everything will be like normal, but who knows....
i never said i thought that you are forcing him to move or anything like that. all i'm saying is that the only reason he would have even considered it in the first place is because you are there and he thinks that everything is always going to be perfect with you guys, and you're feelings for each other are the strongest there can be, and that that wont ever change, and blah blah blah. its no secret that hes been around you pretty much every day for the past few months...only time he ever hung out with anyone else was at band practice. my point is, you really need to talk long and hard with him about this whole thing about him moving out there. i'm not saying you should make the decision for him. i'm just saying that he doesnt seem to understand the seriousness of what he's doing. i've had a few friends that thought it was a good idea to move out of state to live with people that they thought they "loved"....only to end up miserable a month or so later because it just wasn't working out, or they got sick of each other, or felt completely smothered. those people ended up stranded in whatever state they were in and completely miserable...and then when they finally did get home their relationship with their families were worse than when they left. i hope to god that doesnt happen with you two....but you need to talk to him about it because i doubt that possibility has even crossed his mind. i dont know. whatever. i think that he is making a big mistake (nothing to do with you)...running away from problems only makes them worse....and thats all he is doing. alcoholics run away from their problems for years and just get worse and worse. their problems dont get solved until they realize they need to confront the problem...i know cause i've been there. he's not solving anything...if anything at all he's probably creating more. i'm not angry at you. i'm not angry at jesse. i'm disappointed that he would give up on music...hes spend sooooo many years of his life on music and hes just tossing it away...i dont see how he can do that...its horrible...not cause he's in my band and we'll be losing a drummer, but because he'll be giving up on something that he really loves and something that has the capability to take him soooo far. i dont think you are literaly forcing him to go. but you are the reason he is going. i hope everything works out for you two and everything goes well for a long time. but i hope that jesse realizes what hes getting himself into. and i dont think he's had time to really think about it and understand what he's doing. it is his decision....but as his friend....hell, we're in a band together, he's my brother....as his brother i think he's making a mistake, and i need to make sure he knows what he's doing. i wish you and my brother the best of luck.
that's really sweet of you aaron. I've been trying to get through to him myself. I really wish he would take more time to think about things. although, dont get me wrong I would love to have him here. but I also know what he is giving up and I'm not sure if he will be able to take it. I really hope he can, but I don't know. I think your guys' band is doing so well. I really thought you guys could gte somewhere and if I could, I probably would take back this whole misunderstanding he had with his parents. right now, I'm graduating in January and I plan on moving back then, but alot of things change over a period of 4 months. I really hope jesse will be happy if he is here, although he repeatedly has said he probably wont be for awhile. I will probably be just as miserable. I registered for school today and I was like omg this sucks ass. people here are a bit different, I was walking around and people introduced themsleves to me and helped me by showing me around and all. that was a bit comforting, but I'm smart enough not to forget the rest of the problems I'm facing right now.
I do really wish jesse would think about this more. I love the kid sooo much, but I don't know what to tell him. I wish I knew if he stayed there he would be happy, or if he came here hed be happy, but I can't. I really wish I didn't have to give up everything knew and loved. until he came to me the other night about this, moving wasn't even a thought. I was prefectly happy with everything that mattered. jesse blew me off my feet when he told me he wanted to move. I kept telling him to think about it because its sooo much to give up. I really couldnt think about it, I just had to react, I don't want him to just do that. I really do wish he would just atleast talk to his parents before he leaves if he does. I don't think he will get anything resolved with them while he is gone. I really don't know what else to say. I think we both made rash decisions. most times I am very upset, I miss my friends to DEATH... but I also know that I was getting physically sick/depressed staying in ny. now jesse on the other hand, he was happy for the most part and I just hope if he truely feels this is the best thing to do, that he will be happy here too.
I believe we are coming back in January but things will be so different, and well life could get in the way you never know. we could all die tomorrow. the only thing I wish jesse would do is talk to his parents, but I will not force him to do something he doesnt want to do. I just hope all of our decisions will turn out to be the best in the end.
I don't want you and graham to feel that I am stealing jesse away from you guys. I'm not holding a gun to his head, and he pretty much made his mind up before I even did. when I woke up yesterday I was planning on moving into a friends house, and jesse resolving his issues with his parents. life fucked up, and that didn't happen, but jesse's decision is his decision. I told him thousands of times I couldn't make this decision for him, because he did ask me to. there was no way in hell I was gonna be the final yes or no on leaving everything he has ever known.
I'm having a hard enough time as it is. I have to start a new just as jesse has to but I duno... I have no idea where to go with this. all I'm saying is that I wish you wouldn't feel that I made jesse do this. its his decision. I've told him many times to think about this. take time, and even talk to his dad again, but he is hell bent on doing this. hey you never know, maybe in a week he'll hate it and move back and everything will be like normal, but who knows....
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I do really wish jesse would think about this more. I love the kid sooo much, but I don't know what to tell him. I wish I knew if he stayed there he would be happy, or if he came here hed be happy, but I can't. I really wish I didn't have to give up everything knew and loved. until he came to me the other night about this, moving wasn't even a thought. I was prefectly happy with everything that mattered. jesse blew me off my feet when he told me he wanted to move. I kept telling him to think about it because its sooo much to give up. I really couldnt think about it, I just had to react, I don't want him to just do that. I really do wish he would just atleast talk to his parents before he leaves if he does. I don't think he will get anything resolved with them while he is gone. I really don't know what else to say. I think we both made rash decisions. most times I am very upset, I miss my friends to DEATH... but I also know that I was getting physically sick/depressed staying in ny. now jesse on the other hand, he was happy for the most part and I just hope if he truely feels this is the best thing to do, that he will be happy here too.
I believe we are coming back in January but things will be so different, and well life could get in the way you never know. we could all die tomorrow. the only thing I wish jesse would do is talk to his parents, but I will not force him to do something he doesnt want to do. I just hope all of our decisions will turn out to be the best in the end.
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