Tiger's Wood
So, ok.
This whole Tiger Woods thing has been all over the news, and I have to admit: it makes me think in a bunch of different directions.
Of course it doesn't affect us directly, but given some of the choices I have made in my life, it does bring to the forefront a lot of things, you know?
I am never a fan of cheating - and even in an open arrangement, cheating can and does occasionally happen - and of course, it's all hypothetical speculation. But as you know, my brain does weird shit sometimes, and goes in a bunch of directions, and then: mental spewing on the underlying philosophies and what ever. As an example, this of course is a big topic in my work-world, since (OF COURSE) there is a movie to be made from all of this. And in the course of those conversations, there have been a lot of denigration of the women involved. To be sure, some of them are clearly out - at THIS POINT - for financial compensation now that it's all come to light. But there are others who have made efforts to not say anything or jump on the bandwagon or get a payday who've been outed by others, and are still being painted with the easy brush of whoredom. And me being me, that gives me pause. 'Cos: why? They were doing what they wanted, they didn't sell that story when it was going on (and some of them, it's been over for a while, from what I understand), and as far as I can see -- they're not the ones that fucked up, really. They nailed a guy who's attractive, and probably made them feel pretty special ('cos, let's face it: it's human nature that if a good looking, successful, and wealthy person find lil' ol' humdrum you worth their time... Most people are going to be all over it. Especially when his wife is crazy hot, and you're a waitress at Applebees or whatever).
It's kinda interesting to me that there was a Dan Savage column not terribly long ago - maybe two weeks before all of this broke - that covered something I'd long wondered with regards cheating vs open. A guy had written in that he and his GF had an open relationship, and how come chicks would be all into it when they thought it was taboo, but would bail when they found out his GF was OK? And Dan's answer was along the lines of "When they think you're breaking the rules for them, they feel valued and like they are above the norm for you - but when they find out it's ok, well... They've lost that special snowflake feeling, 'cos they're not inspiring you to take a chance on them." Which made a lot of sense to me, and it's been something HotRod and I have talked about a lot over the years, 'cos we've encountered it a number of times.
Additionally, I saw or heard something on the news about it, and the remark was made about how three of the women had been within the last year or so, and there was a lot of "tsk tsk" tone to it, as though the number in 12 months was remarkable. Is it? I don't know. I know people who fuck a lot more over the course of a year, and people who fuck less in five. I get that in this case, given that he was - as far as we know - in an ostensibly "monogamous" relationship, and that makes for wholly different rules, but for the sake of argument, let's pretend she knew all along that he was having outside relationships (and it seems pretty clear that many of them were, in fact, relationships, and not one-nighters). Would that change anything?
As for Tiger himself... At this point, I really feel like the information out so far gives a strong indication of compulsive/ addictive behaviour, and I kinda just pity him 'cos I can see a strong correlation with drug use - and addicts aren't known for being strongly rational. Unless it was an ethically open relationship, but he violated their safer sex protocols (which is what my head tells me is the logical alternative), and that's why she went after him with the golf clubs.
It is all completely academic and super-nerdy of me, I get that, and I have belaboured this far past the point of interest for people that aren't me. I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
This whole Tiger Woods thing has been all over the news, and I have to admit: it makes me think in a bunch of different directions.
Of course it doesn't affect us directly, but given some of the choices I have made in my life, it does bring to the forefront a lot of things, you know?
I am never a fan of cheating - and even in an open arrangement, cheating can and does occasionally happen - and of course, it's all hypothetical speculation. But as you know, my brain does weird shit sometimes, and goes in a bunch of directions, and then: mental spewing on the underlying philosophies and what ever. As an example, this of course is a big topic in my work-world, since (OF COURSE) there is a movie to be made from all of this. And in the course of those conversations, there have been a lot of denigration of the women involved. To be sure, some of them are clearly out - at THIS POINT - for financial compensation now that it's all come to light. But there are others who have made efforts to not say anything or jump on the bandwagon or get a payday who've been outed by others, and are still being painted with the easy brush of whoredom. And me being me, that gives me pause. 'Cos: why? They were doing what they wanted, they didn't sell that story when it was going on (and some of them, it's been over for a while, from what I understand), and as far as I can see -- they're not the ones that fucked up, really. They nailed a guy who's attractive, and probably made them feel pretty special ('cos, let's face it: it's human nature that if a good looking, successful, and wealthy person find lil' ol' humdrum you worth their time... Most people are going to be all over it. Especially when his wife is crazy hot, and you're a waitress at Applebees or whatever).
It's kinda interesting to me that there was a Dan Savage column not terribly long ago - maybe two weeks before all of this broke - that covered something I'd long wondered with regards cheating vs open. A guy had written in that he and his GF had an open relationship, and how come chicks would be all into it when they thought it was taboo, but would bail when they found out his GF was OK? And Dan's answer was along the lines of "When they think you're breaking the rules for them, they feel valued and like they are above the norm for you - but when they find out it's ok, well... They've lost that special snowflake feeling, 'cos they're not inspiring you to take a chance on them." Which made a lot of sense to me, and it's been something HotRod and I have talked about a lot over the years, 'cos we've encountered it a number of times.
Additionally, I saw or heard something on the news about it, and the remark was made about how three of the women had been within the last year or so, and there was a lot of "tsk tsk" tone to it, as though the number in 12 months was remarkable. Is it? I don't know. I know people who fuck a lot more over the course of a year, and people who fuck less in five. I get that in this case, given that he was - as far as we know - in an ostensibly "monogamous" relationship, and that makes for wholly different rules, but for the sake of argument, let's pretend she knew all along that he was having outside relationships (and it seems pretty clear that many of them were, in fact, relationships, and not one-nighters). Would that change anything?
As for Tiger himself... At this point, I really feel like the information out so far gives a strong indication of compulsive/ addictive behaviour, and I kinda just pity him 'cos I can see a strong correlation with drug use - and addicts aren't known for being strongly rational. Unless it was an ethically open relationship, but he violated their safer sex protocols (which is what my head tells me is the logical alternative), and that's why she went after him with the golf clubs.
It is all completely academic and super-nerdy of me, I get that, and I have belaboured this far past the point of interest for people that aren't me. I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.