(no subject)

[ihkelele]

*Waves flist*

I must be the worstest flister in the comm these days.

First of all, happy belated birthday to pigwidgeon37 and somigliana
I hope your B-days have been full of niceties and the coming year brings you at least one of the achievements you are looking forward to. Driving licences, masters, new (running) laptops, learning Macedonian (gulps), whatever. And lots of fun. Don't forget to have fun, it's important!!! *glomps*

"boring me-stuff - feel free to skip"
Last week I've spent nights trying to follow my own advice about having fun, i.e. playing for the House Cup, then one evening trying to arrange a nomination list (as yet unfinished,) then arranging Bday wishes for Pig and Cilla (that I didn't manage to upload in time...) all the while feeling upset and restless without even knowing why, just to realise in hindsight that I was in denial of RL things that I'd much prefer not to think of, like-- here's when I realised that I'd need a list, so a list be it:

• Dispatched Mum 600 kms away (as some of you might remember, she's had a scary health issue beginning of June and has been staying with us while recovering, but I couldn't stop her from leaving the very moment she's felt better.) So, on Monday (wait-- or it was Sunday? I've lost my bearings...) we sailed gloriously in her teeeeeny brand new Fiat Panda to Florence - through mountain side roads, as the motorway over the Appennin was clogged. Took 6 hrs instead of 3, stayed with brother's family for scant 2 blessed hours, had a glimpse of Florence from the hills on the way back to the station - through the mist, because when things are meant to go awry, they just do. Reached station, paid indecorous amount for so-called high-speed train. Which was late. Ended commuting twice and arrived home at 11 pm. Now, Mum is living 600 kms from here, alone, meaning I'll keep eating my nails (and liver) out. Oh well.
• Helped moving a workshop where a decade worth of crap had accumulated. Lots of paperwork involved. More tidying & paperwork to do.
• Made arrangements for Important Exhibition due end October. I've come to hate decorators and idiotic colleagues who can't give a straight answer to a simple question. I'll have to deal with both for the next 3 weeks. Oh joy.
• Purchased a flat (not for me!) because "it's necessary" (I'm still unconvinced). Paperworks partially done. Flat is bought (again, not for me,) money is gone (partly mine.) More paperwork to come. More items to purchase for ungrateful arses. [Edit: ungrateful arses seem to have reconsidered, apparently they need my advice, so they booked my weekend. Niiiiice. OTOH they've apparently managed to do some of the paperwork on their own. Apparently. Must check if everything is in order - never, ever rely on arses for paperwork, I've learned the hard way.]
• Been cuddling Mr.Ihke under heavy dental care, antibiotics and painkillers (and dodging his temper - but hey, one is entitled to snarl if he's undergone 4 extractions and 6 implants in two months, *and* working much harder than me all the while!) *break to check ice cream provision for his, erm, dinner*
• Bugger it all, I forgot washer load inside washer, aaargh! *scurries away*
• [*back from laundry rescuing session*] All right, I'll say it - the thing that's been nagging me in the background. September 30 was my Dad's "Deathday" I don't usually think of it - it's been more than 40 years ago, for goodness' sake! - but once I become aware, I can't help feeling an overall sense of weariness. Like if a dementor had come and sucked all hope and light away, which is exactly what happened at the time.

Of course, I've been an idiot: if I had realised what was happening, I might have weeded my whole garden bald while thinking of Dad, and by now I'd be sporting dozens of mosquito bites, screamed in front of tenths of many-legged creatures (or no-legged at all, if one includes snails and worms - yes, I confess I'm icky when it comes to gardening), taken a corresponding number of scrubbing showers but, hey, I'd have wrapped up a nice parcel of acceptance, good scents and blossoming things, and outthought (is it a word?) the gloom.

*Takes breath.
*Scowls at long sentences, remembering what teachers always said about English abhorring convoluted prose.
*Shrugs - oh well, for once that I've written something, I refuse to go back and cut&polish, or I'll never post this.

So, that's basically why I haven't been around much. I've glimpsed sporadically, commented flimsily, and wouldn't have had the slightest ideas of the hardship quite a few of you are suffering, weren't it for a special post from bluestocking79 I've come through (thank you Bluey!)
Now I've tracked back a few entries and I can see what she meant o_O and :((( and also #@!&?§!*WTF?!?

It's a bit late to comment to individual posts, but this is what I'm listening to right now, because I feel like I need it, and I want to share it with you, little ones:

Click to view

Despite my convinced atheism, somehow it never fails to make me feel better. I hope it'll work, at least a little bit, for you as well.

*love*