Catch-up Post
I've been off to work for a couple of days (actually, I don't know how long) and my heartfelt apologies to my flist, in particular those who need hugs (you know who you are and, please believe me, I have been thinking of you, crossing all the appropriate appendices and worrying about those of you who haven't posted these days)
I had planned to take part - as a humble reviewer of course - in hpcon_envy. I was looking forward to it, with eager anticipation.
Well, at the moment I have no less than (wait a moment - counts) 4 tabs open on the earliest posts of this run, including the initial poll; I have just found out that two of my favorite stories started last summer had been completed - and I had no idea; and there must be dozens of new posts *headdesk* Really ladies, I don't know how you do that. You're amazing :))
More stuff left hanging days ago: I took The Social Persona Test and I'm quite pleased to be a Renaissance Faire Wench (QLAF) - not that I'm sure I AM one, but it would be nice.
Finally, following
juno_magic 's streak, here is my contribution.
[QUOTE]
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form called a "gripesheet,"
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots
review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that
ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance
complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions
recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
Interesting fact: Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
Memo:
*******
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school
diploma to fix one.
Reassurance for those who fly routinely.
[/QUOTE].
I saved this from a Usenet post a loooong time ago, when 'blogging' was probably not even a word - sorry no direct source available for crediting, but kudos to the original poster and the ground crews of Qantas! :)
I had planned to take part - as a humble reviewer of course - in hpcon_envy. I was looking forward to it, with eager anticipation.
Well, at the moment I have no less than (wait a moment - counts) 4 tabs open on the earliest posts of this run, including the initial poll; I have just found out that two of my favorite stories started last summer had been completed - and I had no idea; and there must be dozens of new posts *headdesk* Really ladies, I don't know how you do that. You're amazing :))
More stuff left hanging days ago: I took The Social Persona Test and I'm quite pleased to be a Renaissance Faire Wench (QLAF) - not that I'm sure I AM one, but it would be nice.
Finally, following
juno_magic 's streak, here is my contribution.
[QUOTE]
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form called a "gripesheet,"
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots
review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that
ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance
complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions
recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
Interesting fact: Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
Memo:
*******
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school
diploma to fix one.
Reassurance for those who fly routinely.
[/QUOTE].
I saved this from a Usenet post a loooong time ago, when 'blogging' was probably not even a word - sorry no direct source available for crediting, but kudos to the original poster and the ground crews of Qantas! :)