Me and cloister... what the?
I am finding it more and more difficult to live in this world and live for God. I feel too distracted. I don't know what this means, but I know that I must discern it. Today I had an overwhelming experience of love and wanting to give my whole self to Christ. Morning, day and night I want to give it all to Him. But I am too distracted by things here on earth to do it. I know I must live in this world. Some are called to serve God in this world with these distractions and others are called to communities that are void of these distractions. I was just wondering how much I could do for Christ if I wasn't running after children or worrying how I was going to get enough money to pay the bills, or wonder if I will be able to fit mass in between my job, family and other commitments. I just want to give my heart to him in its entirety... maybe this desire I have been praying for is getting answered... maybe it is happening... or maybe God is challenging me to live in what I had just described. Right now I want to run away to a cloister convent, strap myself in the chapel and never move for eternity... except maybe to write that book that Karen and I keep dreaming about...