you kill me

[iheartwhales4]

you'd give anything for him
to be with him
to hold him
for it to be like it used to
but your attration fades
and the only way you find this to be what you want
is to add what you always do
drama

you add this to the pot
and its an automatic sucess
its everything you like..
decite, lieing, and feeling inferior

you never think about anyone elses feelings
as you silently tear down their world
you wouldnt know
because its something you do to hurt others

you hurt them so badly
and you know
and you laugh in their faces
you talk about them behind their backs
and you even spread their deepest secerts to ears that werent meant to hear it
you kick them after they have fallen
you just keep going until he sees you
and then
you goal is reached

your with him
its all that matters
but you continue
because you dont want to loose him
this is what you think appeals to him

you try to make your friends count
but you cant have your attention focused on them
why?
because you have to be happier than them
you have to be so much better than them
you have to be...
you just do...
its how you live and what you thrive off of.

I'm sad to say i am still your game,
he is a trophy you've won in this game you play,
and so am i...