No More Wishing 9/12
banner by: jennyspring
Title: No More Wishing
Chapter: 9/12
Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Chloe Sullivan and Oliver Queen
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 5,657
Summary: After escaping from the VRA, Oliver decides to cash in his wish with Zatanna to undo his mistake. But things don't exactly work out the way he planned.
Previous Chapters: One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight
banner by: geek_or_unique
Chapter Nine: The Way I Loved You
Tess opened and closed her mouth a few times, staring at Chloe in disbelief. Her first instinct was to ask the other woman if she was serious, but Tess could see that she was. In fact, she looked like she was about to become hysterical. “Chloe,” she said firmly, attempting to snap her out of it. “Do you have any idea how stupid that sounded?”
“It’s the only explanation,” Chloe replied, not even noticing Tess’s icy tone. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the console, too afraid that her knees were going to give out on her to let go, even as the tears started to slip down her cheeks. She’d hurt Oliver so much that he’d gone to Zatanna and asked her to make him forget their relationship. But of course the spell had somehow gone wrong and now he was stuck reliving it.
“Okay,” Tess said slowly as she moved closer to Chloe. She’d never seen the other woman get this emotional before and she was going to try to tread carefully and attempt to reason with her. “Let’s say that your theory is correct and Oliver went to this Zatanna person for a wish,” she started. Tess still didn’t really see Oliver as the type of person who would make a wish, but she supposed he might if he was desperate which he had been the last time she’d seen him.
She frowned as she thought back to that morning he’d come to the Daily Planet. Oliver had admitted that he had a plan but he hadn’t given her any details. Was this - whatever this was - his plan? Tess didn’t see how going this far back in time would fix anything. All it seemed to be doing was making the past more complicated. “Why would the three of us get pulled into the wish with him?”
That part made even less sense to her. Tess didn’t believe for one second that Oliver would willingly wish away any of his time with Chloe. She knew how much he loved her and she knew Chloe didn’t doubt him either despite the emotional breakdown she appeared to be having before her eyes. But even if Oliver had gone to the magician for help, Tess didn’t see why she and AC had been pulled into this new reality or whatever it was. Clark and Lois were a lot closer to Oliver than they were.
“I don’t know,” Chloe said. “Her magic isn’t perfect and there are always unforeseen consequences to her spells. She has her reasons but it usually takes awhile for them to make sense.” Chloe couldn’t focus on that. All she could think about was how much she’d hurt Oliver. “I was right,” she said as she met Tess’s gaze. “I knew it would be a mistake to fill him in on the past. Look how hard he’s been trying to forget it.” She swallowed the lump in her throat as more tears pooled in her eyes. This was too much.
“I need to get out of here.” Blindly, she moved toward the doors, wanting to get as far away from Watchtower as possible. Chloe needed time to figure out how to fix this and she knew she wouldn’t be able to think straight if she stayed there. Watchtower had too many memories. No wonder Oliver had been so reluctant the first time she’d tried to bring him back there. Chloe’s hand flew to her mouth as another sob rose from her throat.
“Would you stop?” Tess demanded. She moved quickly, stepping into Chloe’s path to block her from leaving. She could see now that treading carefully and making Chloe see reason was not the way to go. She was too stubborn for that. “I’m about two seconds away from slapping some sense into you so I suggest you pull yourself together and listen to me before I resort to that,” she warned.
Chloe just shook her head, not trusting her voice. She didn’t expect Tess to understand but she needed her to get out of the way. “Tess, I know what you’re going to say…”
“No, you don’t,” Tess interrupted. “I tried things your way, Chloe. I let you handle Oliver and I went along with your plan to let his memory come back on his timetable but I’m not about to stand back and let you walk out of here because you came up with some crazy notion that Oliver wished away your relationship. He would never do that, Chloe. Never,” she repeated, her voice getting louder with each word. “Oliver loves you. Everyone knows that including you,” she said pointedly.
“I know Oliver loves me,” Chloe snapped. She also knew that she had no right to be irritated with Tess after everything she had done for her, but she was annoyed that the other woman wouldn’t get out of her way and let her leave. “But I hurt him, Tess. I can’t blame him for wanting to forget that and the only way for him to do that was to undo everything that happened between us.” Her voice shook, but she managed to stop the tears from falling.
Tess rolled her eyes. She’d always considered Chloe to be a rational person just like she was. But it was obvious that all the emotions Chloe had been keeping inside were getting to be too much for her. That was the only explanation Tess could come up with for why Chloe was refusing to look at the situation with a clear head which meant that Tess was going to have to force her into it.
“Chloe, you traded your life for Oliver’s. Do you really think he’s the kind of guy who would be selfish enough to wish all that away just so he wouldn’t be in pain anymore? Do you think that little of him?” she asked.
“Of course not,” Chloe snapped without hesitating. She glared at Tess, angry that she had the nerve to question her opinion of Oliver. “Ollie is the best man - the best person - I know and he would never be that selfish. I love him,” she reminded her. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she realized what Tess was doing. Her shoulders slumped as fresh guilt made her chest burn and she let out a defeated sigh. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly.
Chloe didn’t know what was wrong with her. It wasn’t like her to have such strong emotional reactions, let alone have them in front of other people. She knew Tess was right. Oliver loved her just as much as she loved him and she knew he would never wish away what they had. But Chloe was more convinced than ever that Tess had been right all along and Oliver’s memory held the key to what had brought them into this reality.
“He must have wished for something,” Chloe said. If she pushed aside her emotions and attempted to look at the situation logically, the same way Tess was, she could see that it had all the makings of one of Zatanna’s spells. But if Oliver hadn’t wished away their relationship, what had he tried to change that would bring them back to this point in time?
The computer beeped, startling Chloe from her thoughts as Oliver’s voice came through the speakers. “Green Arrow to Watchtower,” he called.
Chloe sent Tess a desperate look as she hastily wiped the tears from her eyes. She knew if she tried to answer Oliver, he would hear the tears in her voice and know that something was wrong. It was bad enough that she’d gotten caught up in her pain and had forgotten to pay attention to what was going on with Oliver and AC. She didn’t want to distract him any further.
Tess walked back over to the console and pressed the button to take the feed off silent. “Go ahead, Green Arrow,” she said as she glanced back at Chloe to make sure the woman wasn’t going to attempt to leave again.
Oliver paused, confused as to why Tess was answering instead of Chloe. He wanted to ask, but he knew better than to get personal over the com, especially with Toyman sitting less than five feet from where he stood. AC had him tied securely to a chair but he was still conscious and the last thing Oliver wanted to do was give him more ammunition to use against him. “Aquaman and I have secured the target. Can you send the boys in blue to clean this up?” he asked.
“I’ll make the call,” Tess said. “Arrow, I need you to make your way back here and let Aquaman wait for the police.” She ignored the surprised look on Chloe’s face. Tess wanted answers and if Chloe was too emotional to get them, she would get them herself. “We may have had a development in our other problem and we need your insight.”
“Okay,” Oliver agreed as he wondered what was going on. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
Tess muted the com again as she switched screens and entered the tip in the police database, giving them the location and the evidence they had found that put Toyman at the scene before the explosion. “If you don’t ask him about the wish, I will,” she said as she sent the information and turned to face Chloe once again. “We don’t belong here Chloe, and we can’t keep reliving the past. Do you want me to stay?” she asked.
Chloe shook her head. She knew Tess was right. Thirteen people had died that day that were not supposed to and they had no idea what else had been changed by this altered timeline. “Clark didn’t remember making his wish and Ollie probably doesn’t either,” she said. Chloe had tried reminding Clark who he really was, but it had taken time for him to see it. She wasn’t sure they had the luxury in this case.
“Then you need to make him remember,” Tess replied simply. “His memories are there, Chloe. You need to force him to access the ones he’d rather forget even if you don’t want to.” She grabbed her purse and her cell phone and her expression softened when she turned to Chloe again. Tess knew what she was afraid of and she honestly did feel bad for both of them, but it had to be done. “He’s always going to love you,” she reminded her.
“I know,” Chloe said. She did know that and she believed it, but that didn’t make it any easier to know that she was going to have to tell him everything. “Thank you, Tess,” she said sincerely.
Tess nodded. “I’m going over to Luthor Corp. to handle the fallout of this Toyman mess. Call me if you need me or if you get to the bottom of this,” she said. Tess placed her hand on Chloe’s arm and squeezed it lightly before moving toward the door.
Chloe took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Oliver was going to be there soon and she was going to have to tell him every bad thing that had happened over the past seven months to try and engage his memory enough to pinpoint what he had wished for. She had to assume that it would work like all of Zatanna’s other spells had and once Oliver acknowledged he didn’t want it anymore, all of this would go away and they’d be back where they belonged. She did her best to ignore the ache in her heart that came with the thought.
***
It took Oliver a lot longer than the twenty minutes he’d planned on to get back to Watchtower. Even though it was the middle of the day, he’d ended up stopping two attempted muggings and a gas station robbery. His memory was still hazy but he was positive crime hadn’t been this bad the first time they’d lived through this year. Then again, Clark had been there to help. Pushing his hood back, Oliver pulled his glasses off with the other hand as he walked into the main room of Watchtower.
He’d expected to find Chloe and Tess at the terminal working on whatever new lead they’d come up with, but at first glance, it seemed like the room was empty. Oliver opened his mouth to call out to Chloe, but then he spotted her sitting on the couch in front of the stained glass window. There was a coffee mug on the table in front of her, but she seemed to be lost in her thoughts and he didn’t think she realized he was there. “Chloe?” he called lightly, not wanting to startle her as he crossed the room.
“Ollie, I didn’t hear you come in,” Chloe said. She gave him a small smile as her heart started to pound in her chest. After Tess had left, she’d started pacing as she anxiously waited for him to come back. She didn’t remember sitting down. “Did everything go okay?” she asked.
Oliver nodded as he took a seat beside her, noting that she seemed nervous. “Yeah, we caught him by surprise and he made some cryptic threats but he’s so crazy I don’t think anyone will believe a word he says even if some of it is true,” he said. The familiar guilt churned in his stomach but Oliver ignored it and focused on Chloe. “What’s going on? Tess said there was a development.”
“Sort of,” Chloe said. She could practically hear Tess yelling at her for hesitating but the truth was that she had no idea where to start. “Tess and I were coming up with different scenarios for the situation we’re in and none of them really made sense.” She swallowed hard, attempting to moisten her throat as she saw him watching her intently. “Tess suggested it might be some kind of spell which immediately led me to -”
“Zatanna,” Oliver finished. He’d only met the magician once, but she certainly knew how to wreck havoc on a situation as he’d learned the hard way when he’d found himself chained to a telephone pole. “She turned you into Lois so I guess it’s not out of the question that she could do something to bend time,” he said.
Chloe nodded. “That time she turned me into Lois, she almost made Clark forget that he had powers.” She bit her lip anxiously as she watched Oliver. She could see that the Zatanna theory made sense to him, but it didn’t seem like he was connecting himself to it. Chloe reached out and placed her hand on his arm. “Ollie, Tess and I think you might have been the one to make a wish,” she said.
His eyes widened at that. “Why?” Oliver asked. That didn’t make any sense to him. He knew that Zatanna owed him one after he’d helped her get her father’s book back, but he’d never actually planned on cashing it in with her. He wasn’t exactly a big believer in magic and from what he’d seen; most of Zatanna’s spells did more harm than good. “Why would I wish for my memory to be gone?” he asked.
“I’m not sure you wished for that specifically,” Chloe said carefully. “I know her spells are never quite what we expect so maybe you wished that you could change something and somehow that brought us all back here.” She knew it sounded like she was grasping at straws but that was exactly what she was doing at this point. It was impossible for her to figure out what Oliver had wished for when she took into account the fact that Zatanna’s spells were never simple. The only way they were going to figure this out was if he remembered and filled in the blanks.
Oliver shook his head. “Chloe, the last time I saw Zatanna was over two years ago. I know she was in town last year, but I didn’t see her that night.” He knew Tess and Chloe believed that his memory loss was a big part of whatever had brought them back in time, but he didn’t understand why Chloe seemed so convinced that he’d asked Zatanna to change something for him. He might not remember everything about his life, but Oliver knew how happy he’d been with Chloe and he couldn’t imagine why he’d want to change that.
“Chloe, what aren’t you telling me?” he asked as his eyes searched hers for answers. Oliver could see that she looked upset and she was obviously holding back from him. He thought back to that morning when she’d been about to tell him everything before he’d received the call about the factory explosion. She’d hesitated then too. Oliver chest tightened as he tried to figure out what was so bad that she didn’t want him to know.
“Ollie,” Chloe started again, willing herself to find the courage to get this out. She knew Tess was right and Oliver wasn’t going to stop loving her but she really didn’t want him to be mad at her. She didn’t know how much longer they were going to be wherever it was that they were and she wanted to enjoy being close to him while she could. “I need you to try and remember where you were the night before all this started. Tess told me that you’d left town. Where did you go?” she asked.
He opened his mouth to tell her once again that he had no recollection, but Oliver stopped himself when her words registered in his head. “Tess told you?” he repeated. Why would Tess be the one to tell Chloe about his whereabouts? He would assume it would have been the other way around and Chloe would be the one to fill Tess in on what was going on with him. Chloe was the person he was closest to, the person he trusted with his life. Why wouldn’t she know where he was?
Oliver frowned as he thought about the past few days. Chloe had constantly been asking him to tell her what he remembered. He hadn’t thought much of it at first since he knew she’d just been trying to piece together what happened. But once he’d remembered their relationship and more of his memory had started to fill itself in, he’d stopped paying close attention to what was happening around him. But if Chloe didn’t know where he’d been or what had happened to him prior to them ending up in this time frame that meant they hadn’t been together when everything had gone haywire.
His mind flashed back to the day AC had appeared at Watchtower. He’d been surprised to see Chloe there and had made a comment about how happy Oliver must have been that she was back. Chloe had looked horrified and then Tess had stepped in and whisked AC away before he’d said anything else. “You were gone,” he said quietly. Oliver met her eyes as his chest tightened with emotion he didn’t know how to process. “Did you leave me?” he asked, nearly choking on the words.
Tears pooled in Chloe’s eyes as she reached out, gripping his arms hard as she shook her head. ‘It’s not that simple, Ollie.” The broken look on his face was nearly too much for her and Chloe took a deep breath, trying to hold herself together so she could explain. She opened her mouth again, but Oliver beat her to it.
“Damnit Chloe, tell me the truth,” Oliver demanded. He was sick and tired of her talking around the subject or telling him to remember on his own. If she had left him, he wanted to know why. “Stop treating me with kid gloves and just tell me everything that I need to know starting with why you left me.” Saying the words again only made the ache in his chest worse. Oliver tried to focus on the anger because anger was easier to deal with, but the pain at the realization that Chloe had left him was much stronger.
Chloe could see how angry he was but she knew him well enough to also see how much he was hurting and she hated that she was the cause. She kept her hands on his arms, refusing to let go as she started the story. “That night you gave me the satellite; the last night you remember clearly. After you left Watchtower, you were ambushed at the satellite station. We only had the walkie talkies to communicate through and you tried to cut the connection so they wouldn’t find me. You shouted that you loved me.” Her voice shook, but she forced herself to keep going. “I told you I loved you and then you told me that it wasn’t the Kandorians.”
None of that sounded familiar to him. Oliver remembered leaving Watchtower and he knew that he’d planned on going to the satellite station, but he couldn’t remember actually being there. He certainly didn’t remember an ambush. “What happened next?” he asked.
“I went to the satellite station and I retrieved your glasses and watched the footage of you being taken,” Chloe replied. Her voice was still shaking and she held onto him a little tighter. He wasn’t touching her, but he wasn’t pushing her away either so she hoped that was a good sign. “The man who took you, his name was Rick Flag and he was a member of the Suicide Squad. It was a branch of Checkmate that basically went rogue,” she explained.
Oliver remembered Checkmate from when he and Chloe had been kidnapped and he vaguely recalled hearing something about the Suicide Squad. But the name Rick Flag meant nothing to him. He didn’t say anything as he waited for Chloe to continue.
“I was desperate to find you, Ollie. I went to the JSA headquarters at the museum and I…I put on Fate’s helmet and asked it to show me where you were,” Chloe said.
“You did what?” Oliver cried. He remembered their experience with Dr. Fate and the rest of the JSA clearly and he knew that the person who wore the helmet ran the risk of going insane. “Chloe, why would you do that?” He moved closer to her on the couch, cupping her face in his gloved hand as he tried to understand.
She shifted even closer to him until she was practically on his lap as one of her hands went to his face as well. “They took you from me, Ollie. I needed to get you back and it was the only way I could think of. The helmet showed me who had you and it showed me what was happening.” Tears streamed down her face as the images of him being beaten and tortured flashed through her head. “You were hurt but you were also being stubborn and not telling them anything.”
“That sounds like me,” Oliver said dryly. His mind was reeling as he tried to take in everything she was telling him. Even with her walking him through it, he had no memory of any of that happening. He’d been kidnapped and tortured more than once over the years but he couldn’t picture any of the details of this incident.
“The helmet showed me a bunch of other things that were happening in the future too and it told me what I had to do to save you and Clark and the rest of the team.” Chloe bit her lip as she saw more confusion in his eyes. “I tracked down Rick Flag and made a deal to trade myself for you. The world needed you more than it needed me at the time,” she said.
Oliver’s mouth fell open, but he couldn’t do anything other than stare at her as he tried to grasp what she was telling him. She’d traded her life for his because she didn’t think she was as important as he was? He shook his head as he continued to struggle with what she’d done. She’d willingly gone to the people who were torturing him and offered to take his place. “Chloe, what did they do to you?” he asked, terrified of the answer.
“Nothing,” Chloe told him quickly. She shifted again, moving into his lap this time as she took his face in her hands and forced him to meet her eyes. “I was prepared, Ollie. I turned myself over to them and they put a bag over my head and made me walk to a different car. I bumped into you on the way.” Her voice hitched and she took a deep breath before she continued. “Once I knew you were safe, I swallowed a cyanide capsule.”
“What?” Oliver asked. He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her in his lap as he tried to make sense of that. “I don’t understand. How…?” He couldn’t bring himself to say the words, but he didn’t understand how she could be there with him if she’d taken a cyanide capsule. Unless… “Chloe…?” Once again, he couldn’t bring himself to say the words. It seemed impossible but stranger things had happened.
Chloe shook her head. “I’m fine, Ollie. I had the antidote in my system when I took the capsule. I just wanted them to believe that I was dead so you would be safe and I would be able to get everything together that I needed to stop what was coming later on,” she explained. She placed several light kisses to his face, trying to ease the tension she could feel pouring off of him. “I’m so sorry. But it was the only way for me to save you.”
Oliver tightened his grip on her, not saying anything for several minutes as he just watched her. She had given up everything for him and he still didn’t understand why. “Chloe.” He paused, not sure where to even begin. “Do I know that you’re alive?” he asked. Oliver couldn’t see himself accepting that she was dead without proof. But he also couldn’t see himself willing letting her go either.
“You do,” Chloe said. “I left a few clues for you to find because I wanted you to know that I was okay. I didn’t want you carrying around more guilt.” She’d known all along that would be a losing battle but she’d hoped that knowing she was alive would at least ease some of his pain. She wasn’t sure it had though. “You respected my wishes and stopped looking for me after awhile.”
“That doesn’t sound like me,” Oliver said, confused. He loved her too much to just give up. But he supposed if he knew without a doubt that she didn’t want to be found, he’d have no choice but to let her go. His arms tightened around her involuntarily as he swallowed the lump in his throat. “You didn’t want me to find you.”
Chloe shook her head. “It was better if you didn’t know where I was so I made it clear that I wasn’t coming back.” She ignored the tears that streamed down her cheeks as she took his face in her hands again. “Ollie, I swear to you I’m going to come back. But I have to wait for the right moment.”
“What is the right moment?” Oliver asked. His own voice was thick with emotion and he could feel his eyes growing warm as his chest tightened to the point where he could barely breathe. Chloe had traded her life for his, faked her death and then made sure he knew she was never coming back. He was starting to get a pretty good picture of just how empty his life was and now it was making more sense why Chloe and Tess thought he’d gone to Zatanna to make some kind of change.
“I take it you haven’t come back yet,” Oliver said when she hesitated to answer him. He brought his hand to her face again and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Chloe, you’ve told me this much. Tell me the rest,” he said.
Chloe bit her lip. She wanted to tell him; she didn’t want to keep anymore secrets. But the helmet had made it seem like the only way the plan would work was if she was away from everyone else. She had to be otherwise she would be captured too and there would be no one left to save them. She didn’t want to lie to Oliver though and Chloe doubted he would just let this go. She let out a shaky breath.
“There’s this group called the VRA that is targeting heroes. They’re funded by the government but they went off grid. They’re the ones who were holding you and AC hostage a few days ago. Basically, they want all the heroes to come forward and reveal their identities and then work for them. But most of the team was against that so the government branded them terrorists. They put tracking devices in all of you. Tess found yours and Emil removed it from you and from Clark but you’re both on their radar,” Chloe explained.
Oliver’s head was spinning. This whole thing just kept getting crazier and he didn’t understand why none of it seemed familiar to him. The only thing he really remembered about being in the water with AC was how cold the water had been. He wondered if that had more to do with the physical experience than his actual memory. He supposed it didn’t really matter. “How did we get on their radar in the first place? It’s not like any of us would come forward with our identities,” he pointed out.
“You did,” Chloe said softly. Her heart ached when she saw the shock on his face, but she kept talking. “You called a press conference and announced that you were Green Arrow. The media has been hounding you ever since.”
“Why?” Oliver asked. There were a million questions running through his head, but they all came back to that. Why? Why would he do something so stupid? Oliver knew how important it was to keep his identity a secret, not just for him but for Clark and the rest of the team. They all had lives to protect and he couldn’t believe he would put all of that in jeopardy. He looked at Chloe expectantly, waiting for her to answer his question.
She leaned into him, wanting to comfort him any way she could as she gently stroked his face, trying to ease the pain she saw there. “I don’t know for sure because I wasn’t there but I think…” Chloe paused. She had a theory, but the words sounded incredibly self-absorbed in her head.
“Tell me,” Oliver said. His head couldn’t come up with a single scenario that made sense and she knew him better than anyone else. Maybe she could explain why he’d done something so reckless.
“I think you did it for me,” Chloe replied. Her gaze fell to his chest as she spoke. “You told the reporter that you lost someone who meant everything to you because of your secret. I think you thought if you weren’t hiding who you were anymore, I could come back. But Ollie, I swear to you that was not the reason I left. I can handle you being Green Arrow. I love that you’re a hero and that you’re so selfless. I had to stay away so that I could help you.” Her eyes were glassy with tears when she lifted her gaze to his again. “I’m so sorry.”
Oliver nodded, not saying anything as he tried to work everything out in his head. The logic still seemed convoluted to him but he imagined he’d been desperate. His reactions to Chloe were starting to make a lot more sense now. Even though he’d forgotten the details, some part of him had remembered what it felt like to lose her and that was why he’d been so desperate to be close to her all this time. He reached out, brushing her tears away once again as he rested his hand on her cheek.
“I hate this, Chloe,” he told her honestly. “I hate that you gave yourself up for me. I hate that you told me you were never coming back. I hate that I did something that put everyone around us at risk.” Oliver swallowed hard as he felt moisture in the corners of his eyes. “I hate that we’ve missed out on so much time together.” Oliver leaned forward, his mouth covering hers in a desperate kiss.
Chloe clung to him, returning the kiss with everything she had. “I love you so much, Ollie. I’m sorry,” she whispered against his lips. She kissed him again, deepening it slowly as she tightened her grip on him, irrationally afraid that he was going to get up and walk away from her if she let go.
He broke the kiss when air became an issue, but he kept his arms around her, resting his forehead against hers as he met her gaze. “Where do we go from here?” Oliver asked.
“The only way to break one of Zatanna’s spells is for the person who made the wish not to want it anymore,” Chloe said. She threaded her fingers through his hair as she pressed a kiss to his jaw, not wanting to break any contact with him. “But I don’t know how we can undo this if you don’t remember making a wish.”
Oliver nodded. He had no idea what he’d wished for but he imagined it had something to do with bringing Chloe back. He only saw one option at this point. “We need to find Zatanna and see if she can tell us what happened.”
Ten.