The Moment I Said It.
Title: The Moment I Said It
Pairing: You'll see d:
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG for light swearing
Word Count: 1,031
Thanks To:
firefly_sound for reading, doing some editing, putting up with me and being my bestie. =]
The moment he said it, he knew he shouldn’t have. In the few seconds that the sentence lingered between the two, he wanted nothing more than to snatch it back out of the air before the other boy could realize the words had been spoken. But he couldn’t. The words flowed unaffected into the other boy’s ears.
There was a pause during which he fiddled with the necklace he wore and could practically see the wheels turning in the boy’s brain, processing what he had just said. Then the other boy’s eyes opened wide. When the boy opened his mouth to respond, he stood up from his sitting position on the bed so abruptly that he saw the boy jump in fright.
“Don’t say it,” he said, his voice sounding strange to the other boy who had known him for so long. So long in fact, that he had a pretty good guess as to what the boy had opened his mouth to say.
But now the boy stared at him with eyes that bore deep into his eyes and straight into the depths of his soul. He squeezed his eyes shut.
“I need to go,” He turned quickly on the spot and rushed out of the bedroom. He stole a glance at the clock mounted on the dorm’s kitchen wall. 4:04 AM, he hadn’t much place to go. He needed to get away from the room, the boy, from what he had said.
He took a few long strides into the different bedroom. He opened the door softly and paused a moment to allow his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the new room. He stepped quickly past a dark figure lying in its bed and found the dresser. He put his hands flat on the surface and slid them around until they fell upon a set of keys. He snatched them up and strode hastily from the room.
Outside he moved through the dimly lit kitchen to the front door of the dorm. He yanked it open, stepped through and was just about to close it behind him when he felt a hand grasp his hand, still enclosed around the doorknob. He spun around wildly, his frantic eyes meeting the gentle ones of the other boy.
“Wait,” But he didn’t even hear the other boy speak, for he was yanking his arm free and turning away to continue down the long hallway. He couldn’t see it, but the other boy was taken aback; he had never seen his friend like this and he didn’t like it. What the hell was he doing? He couldn’t possibly drive in the state he was in. And he wouldn’t even listen to what he had to say. Infuriated, the other boy ran up to him and spun him around by the shoulders.
“Eunhyuk, just listen to me, damn it!” he just about shouted. Eunhyuk glared at him but the boy continued, enraged.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going at this hour? Put back Shindong’s car keys, you can’t drive. You’re gonna hurt yourself,” he made a move to seize the keys from his friend’s hand but he was holding on too tightly. His fist clenched and he could feel the teeth of the keys biting into his palm but he didn’t care. He didn’t want to stay and listen to what his friend was about to say. He needed to get away from here.
Eunhyuk turned around again but the other boy, still determined, grabbed him by the arms, dragged him to the wall and slammed him up against it.
“You can’t drive now,” the boy said through clenched teeth. “You’ll hurt yourself,” he repeated more forcefully.
Eunhyuk avoided his gaze. He felt tears pricking the corners of his eyes. Saying what he had was hard enough, he didn’t need his friend to reject it and tell him how stupid it was. He stared at the ground.
“Like you care,” he spoke quietly. Then without warning, Eunhyuk felt the other boy’s grip on his arms tighten as he pressed his lips against Eunhyuk’s own in a hard kiss.
Smash.
He felt the other boy’s teeth clash against his. He gasped and wrenched his arms free and tried to push the boy’s chest but the other boy stayed put and connected their mouths together again.
Smash.
Eunhyuk felt himself relax. He pulled away and looked at the other boy whose eyes were still closed.
“Donghae…”
Smash.
He turned his face to the side, making the other boy’s lips brush his cheek. “Donghae, don’t.”
Smash.
He felt tears drop onto his cheeks and wasn’t sure if they belonged to him or Donghae. This time Eunhyuk pushed hard on Donghae’s chest and the boy stumbled back. He didn’t even look at him as he all but ran down the hallway.
“Fine!” he heard Donghae bellow. “You want to go so bad? Can you just listen a second?!” Eunhyuk stopped but didn’t turn around. Donghae looked at the ground, cursed and wiped his eyes quickly before staring up at his friend’s back. Then in a much quieter voice than what he had used before...
“I love you too.”
Eunhyuk’s heart stopped for a fraction of a second. “No…” the words came slowly from his mouth and flowed behind him to where Donghae was standing. “Trust me, you don’t.”
Donghae walked the few feet Eunhyuk had ran and stepped around him so that the two were facing each other.
“Didn’t you hear me?” Donghae said so quietly that if Eunhyuk didn’t see his lips move, he wouldn’t have known he had really spoken.
“I do…” Donghae took Eunhyuk’s face in his hands. “I really, really do,” he brushed a tear off the end of Eunhyuk’s nose where it was threatening to drop from.
Eunhyuk looked into his eyes. Those eyes that bore into his and saw more than anyone else was capable of seeing. But why? What part of what they saw was so great? He didn’t understand.
Donghae stepped forward and pressed their foreheads together. “Just let me,” Eunhyuk felt a sob rip through his body and squeezed his eyes shut. He nodded.
Smash.