For a Lonely Soul, You're havin such a nice time
I drove Chris to Dulles this morning. Man, that was hard. I had such a good time with him this weekend; he's so important to me. My favorite part of the weekend, lasted about 3 minutes when we were driving to a chinese restaurant to meet his dad for dinner. I was playing Keane's Nothing in My Way and singing. But not my normal restrained style of singing when someone else is in the car. I really sang the song like I meant it. And Chris sang too, even though he didn't know the words; he made up some cool harmonies, and it was just so fun. I'd like to sing with him for real someday, but this will do for now.
Now, I'm getting ready to head to Charlottesville for my aunt's funeral. This is just a hard day. I really miss Chris already, and I don't want to deal with the funeral--I feel like I've been avoiding it all weekend, and now I can't avoid it anymore. Watching Chris sitting at my piano this weekend and hearing him sing again was so familiar and heartbreaking, because it was such a huge part of my life a couple of years ago. But I realize now that that part of my life is gone forever and I can't have it back. It's up to me to make the most of the rest of my life, to make it something I treasure as much as the memories that I've already made. It reminds me of something Little Edie said in Grey Gardens, "It's very difficult to keep the line between the past and the present, you know what I mean? It's awfully difficult." But, man was she ever crazy.
Shallow ending to a really heart-felt entry: I'll see Tristan for his birthday tonight and eat fried shrimp and cake--and I'll be listening to my newest CD, Stars of CCTV by Hard-Fi. I'll let you know what I think. I'm almost finished reading my lackluster novel The Mad Cook of Pymatunig by Christopher Lehmann-Haupt and will be beginning World War Z by Max Brooks soon. (The Z stands for zombies!) I'll let you know what I think. Peace out.
Now, I'm getting ready to head to Charlottesville for my aunt's funeral. This is just a hard day. I really miss Chris already, and I don't want to deal with the funeral--I feel like I've been avoiding it all weekend, and now I can't avoid it anymore. Watching Chris sitting at my piano this weekend and hearing him sing again was so familiar and heartbreaking, because it was such a huge part of my life a couple of years ago. But I realize now that that part of my life is gone forever and I can't have it back. It's up to me to make the most of the rest of my life, to make it something I treasure as much as the memories that I've already made. It reminds me of something Little Edie said in Grey Gardens, "It's very difficult to keep the line between the past and the present, you know what I mean? It's awfully difficult." But, man was she ever crazy.
Shallow ending to a really heart-felt entry: I'll see Tristan for his birthday tonight and eat fried shrimp and cake--and I'll be listening to my newest CD, Stars of CCTV by Hard-Fi. I'll let you know what I think. I'm almost finished reading my lackluster novel The Mad Cook of Pymatunig by Christopher Lehmann-Haupt and will be beginning World War Z by Max Brooks soon. (The Z stands for zombies!) I'll let you know what I think. Peace out.