(no subject)
I really dislike updating anymore. Everything always ends up as SHITFUCKDAMN. So I don't post. Obviously.
The ONE thing on my mind lately [basically quoting myself. taking what I said on a friends' myspace. what the fuck.]: "i've come to the conclusion that when people die [especially if they're murdered] because society didn't accept them, lots of people come to accept them or their lifestyle once they're gone. after all, actions speak [louder (typo)] than words." So why don't we pick out a flaw or some shit that society doesn't accept, flaunt it because we're finally getting comfortable with ourselves, have others hate that we flaunt it, get killed because of it, and ultimately your lifestyle is accepted and others learn from it. MAKES FUCKING SENSE TO ME.
My mom's really fucking ignorant. Everything she says. I'd love to kick her throat in.
I had to drive to UW Waukesha TWICE. And given the state of mind it was in, I was REALLY irritated. What the fuck is easier to figure out than an aerial PICTURE of the TINY campus? We found the building the first time, but she wasn't convinced that I knew what the fuck I was talking about.
I DON'T WANT TO TAKE MY PLACEMENT TESTS. Because that means I'll go to college. Which means I'm fucked financially.
I really hate lying. But I do it all the time, even when I don't have to lie. Granted, this is probably a decent reason as to why I "lied." My mom came in my room last night while I was crying. And I told her that I was really frustrated with my English paper. Which is complete bullshit. But anyway. She said that couldn't be it, and it wasn't. But what the fuck. That would have been a horrible time to come out to her, and I had absolutely no intention to. But god damn it. I CAN'T. I don't even know why I need my parents to know. [if that doesn't sound dumb...] At the most, I figure that keeping this from them wouldn't be that bad. I've kept quiet for two years, or rather it's been ignored for less than two years [when they first suspected that I wasn't attracted to guys]. And if I go to Waukesha for one or two years, that's double what I've already done. I've done it so far. I think I can manage. And it's only a good month or two total that I get really, really upset about it. Other than that, I think about it every day, but don't let it bother me too much.
WAY TO TAKE THE FUCKING EASY WAY OUT ON EVERYTHING.
The ONE thing on my mind lately [basically quoting myself. taking what I said on a friends' myspace. what the fuck.]: "i've come to the conclusion that when people die [especially if they're murdered] because society didn't accept them, lots of people come to accept them or their lifestyle once they're gone. after all, actions speak [louder (typo)] than words." So why don't we pick out a flaw or some shit that society doesn't accept, flaunt it because we're finally getting comfortable with ourselves, have others hate that we flaunt it, get killed because of it, and ultimately your lifestyle is accepted and others learn from it. MAKES FUCKING SENSE TO ME.
My mom's really fucking ignorant. Everything she says. I'd love to kick her throat in.
I had to drive to UW Waukesha TWICE. And given the state of mind it was in, I was REALLY irritated. What the fuck is easier to figure out than an aerial PICTURE of the TINY campus? We found the building the first time, but she wasn't convinced that I knew what the fuck I was talking about.
I DON'T WANT TO TAKE MY PLACEMENT TESTS. Because that means I'll go to college. Which means I'm fucked financially.
I really hate lying. But I do it all the time, even when I don't have to lie. Granted, this is probably a decent reason as to why I "lied." My mom came in my room last night while I was crying. And I told her that I was really frustrated with my English paper. Which is complete bullshit. But anyway. She said that couldn't be it, and it wasn't. But what the fuck. That would have been a horrible time to come out to her, and I had absolutely no intention to. But god damn it. I CAN'T. I don't even know why I need my parents to know. [if that doesn't sound dumb...] At the most, I figure that keeping this from them wouldn't be that bad. I've kept quiet for two years, or rather it's been ignored for less than two years [when they first suspected that I wasn't attracted to guys]. And if I go to Waukesha for one or two years, that's double what I've already done. I've done it so far. I think I can manage. And it's only a good month or two total that I get really, really upset about it. Other than that, I think about it every day, but don't let it bother me too much.
WAY TO TAKE THE FUCKING EASY WAY OUT ON EVERYTHING.