2005 in review
The whole family is downstairs being loud and my family as always. I snuck away to just get some me-time and thinking. Not to say that just because it's the end of the year qualifies that I am more reflective than usual...I just got to thinking as I cleaned the house for tonight about how this year has happened and all that's happened in it.
It was definitely a year to be had, and the funny thing one of the main things that I can remember about 05 was that I did a lot of crying. Granted, they were not all bad and sad tears...but that's still a lot of tears shed for various reasons...lol, I'm a blubber baby!
But in all seriousness, 05 was an ok year for the most part. It was truly a year of firsts for me--> my relationship with Ryan A., the sad demise of that relationship, me getting on a plane after over a decade, me traveling, me in Europe, me seeing the Pope, me turning 21, me in Boston after over a decade (that hurt the Yankee in me, but it was for my Kimmie)! All great things that I will look back on and always cherish. And it's good that I can think back to some of those things and many others because I actually woke up today a little bummed about the end of the year being present and just my resentment at feeling older. That's something that everyone feels and goes through, so I'm glad that feeling didn't last for long today. And I'm so proud of myself...for the first time in years, I am not making up a list of resolutions or to-do's for 2006. I never seem to stick to those resolutions anyway, and I think it limits where my journeys can go when I have these "ideal" resolutions I force myself to attain. Granted, Graduation in May is the main priority that I am set on...the rest will just have to fall in its place, right???
So here's to you 2005. Thank you for all that you brought me and though I'm sad that you left some things out, I'm not entirely mad at you. We had a great love affair and shared our many moments and memories. We're leaving each other a bit older and grown up, but not too regretful. So farewell...I need to go and find 2006 to give a kiss to and start that affair off right!! ;^ )
Take the first sentence or 2 from the first post of each month of 2005. That's your year in review...
January
Woohoo, first entry of 2005!!! Feliz Ano Nuevo, everybody!!!
I would have posted much sooner in the week, but with all of that family fun of New Years, Haitian Independence Day, and JLR preparations I have been major busy and preoccupied.
February
Things have been grand these past few weeks. So much has happened to me and while I lived in the moment of it all, I still can't help but look back and ask whether it was all true.
March
I utterly hate being sick. I can't breathe, I can't talk, I have a fever, and in true fashion of being me, I have cramps on top of it all. Oy Damn!!! But I'm not gonna complain too much because I get to be at home and on spring break, so the pain isn't that bad.
April
Apart from the massive workload at school that was kicking my butt and winning, situations between Ryan and I had the most influence on how I felt for the most part of the past week.
May
I was looking through my past notebook journals and reflecting on how I would approach writing the witness talk that I have for YAR; I am not as open about who I really am. I know that I put up barriers between me and the world and I only let them know the surface stuff about me.
June
This year's YAR was a bit of a weird experience for me and I don't quite know how yet to explain my feelings. I'm happy but at the same time so stinking morose, I loved the whole experience but at the same time I wish there were things that could have happened differently. I guess it's all because I wanted so much to stay in that place, in that time, with those people forever. Ry will so kick my butt when he reads this, but in the weirdest way, I feel the least ugliest when I am around them.
July
Anyhoo, things have been like a rollercoaster as usual with much to tell. I've been working a lot the past six weeks. I worked a little bit at my old high school with the alumnae office. It felt good and bad to go back and walk the halls three years after graduation.
August
After much anxiety and heavy medication, I actually got on a plane (again) and went to Europe about two weeks ago. It was a trip that had taken me a year to prepare for in a multiplicity of ways, and when it came I was left in total shock.
September
Because I'm avoiding doing homework...
October
No Entries
November
I'm looking at this screen, wanting so badly to just pour out everything that I'm feeling, thinking, going through, and trying to avoid right now.
December
I just got off from a long Saturday of work. After four years, I realized just how much I know about this college and it scares me because I feel like I have no life outside of here, now do you see my sincere joy at the thought of graduation.