a new low...
well here it is, 2 30 in the morning and i amwatching backstreet boys videos by myself. holly came home tonight and we went to atlas. then we went for a drive and looked at houses. then we went by max's house to see if he was having people over, which he was. she and i stopped in to find an empty house and everyone was outside smoking or whatever. after everyone came back in the house to say hello, holly and i got awkward and left. thus leaving me to meet my demise...watching of the horrble music videos. did i miss something? are all 18 year old supposed to find stuff to do to occupy their time, especially after working all day. it seriously cracks me up because i guess that i have become numb to what people my own age do now a days. have i become an introvert? or do i have the social motivation as a 47 year old mother of 2 devorvee. well i have two options on what to do. i could go back to max's and get drunk like everyone there or i could go finish rearranging my room while listening to my elliot smith and carly simon albums. i cant help but miss my freinds when i see that they are actually getting out and doing stuff. i also cant wait to start school so i something else to occupy my time. aaaarrrrrrhhh...im sick of doubting my second nature. i like doing cool stuff but that doesnt always have to involve getting trashed does it? i like to laugh, not puke.