(no subject)
yesterday was weird and amazing at the same time. I felt like I have been able to clear the air... or at least pretend it is clear while it kills me a little bit inside to see you because you are so adorable.
I went to pho with angie yesterday so we could talk. it was good to talk. It was interesting though because even fter not talking for three weeks, we show up wearing the same outfit. Which is weird because i was wearing what I would normally where plus suspenders so she obviously went shopping. We were both wearing black dress shirts with the tux frilly things, black jeans that were cuffed with cons. We both have black hair now that is done in some ubserd fashion. it was hillarious and WHY does she look so damn cute? I feel better. i am worried about her. but I feel better. I am glad to have her back in my life because she is amazing... really. Even if she doesn't like me anymore and I am unsure if she really did or I was just a notch on her belt as she is trying to figure out who she is.
Kate Bornstein rocked my fucking world. the shit she said... changed me. it made me feel less alone. it made me feel like other people do what i do and other people are like me... and that is what I have needed to not feel so alone. I figre if I just keep being me... and open about it, I will find others and MAYBE be empowering for others as well?? Who knows.
I danced so much anmd so intensly that I hurt today. But I loved every minute of it. I am dancing away the pain, anger, depression, frustration... etc. I am fucking dancing because I love every second of it.
I went to pho with angie yesterday so we could talk. it was good to talk. It was interesting though because even fter not talking for three weeks, we show up wearing the same outfit. Which is weird because i was wearing what I would normally where plus suspenders so she obviously went shopping. We were both wearing black dress shirts with the tux frilly things, black jeans that were cuffed with cons. We both have black hair now that is done in some ubserd fashion. it was hillarious and WHY does she look so damn cute? I feel better. i am worried about her. but I feel better. I am glad to have her back in my life because she is amazing... really. Even if she doesn't like me anymore and I am unsure if she really did or I was just a notch on her belt as she is trying to figure out who she is.
Kate Bornstein rocked my fucking world. the shit she said... changed me. it made me feel less alone. it made me feel like other people do what i do and other people are like me... and that is what I have needed to not feel so alone. I figre if I just keep being me... and open about it, I will find others and MAYBE be empowering for others as well?? Who knows.
I danced so much anmd so intensly that I hurt today. But I loved every minute of it. I am dancing away the pain, anger, depression, frustration... etc. I am fucking dancing because I love every second of it.