Not sure if it's worse or better than I thought it would be...
So I ran into Angie last night.
She was with a large group of people so it wasn't that weird except that they were all trying to talk to me.
I was ridiculously stoned and then trying to deal with seeing this person whom the last time I saw, they stayed the night with me and cried about how wonderful I was but couldn't be with me...
and now they have made no attempt to be my friend.
I was confused about how to act.
Do I just pretend she isn't there?
That is bullshit and I learned my lesson... I did nothing wrong.
I smiled and looked at her and she smiled back.
In this awkward way, we exchanged glances.
I am sure people think I am more socially awkward than I am usually because I was having this super slow anxiety attack. haha. But I realized that even though she looked fucking adorable... I didn't need to be one of the people sitting on the stairs outside the rose. I would have wanted to be inside dancing and well... I will find that person who will be inside dancing with me (generally one of the femme girls which will later exchange me for a butch partner that shows interest... because they have none in me... neither of them).
Then I was out of it for the next hour watching reanna's bellydancing and bedroom club burlesque until I shook it off and danced my ass off with two great people. Reanna and Kelly have this energy and I love it.
to be honest, I am scared for cherry tonight. I think it is my need for self punishment that has me going still. That and hott dykes. I will be drunk dammit. I will dance. My apartment will be clean because there is this individual whom... I hope I can talk into my bed. Although, I suppose they already gave me their number for that purpose.
She was with a large group of people so it wasn't that weird except that they were all trying to talk to me.
I was ridiculously stoned and then trying to deal with seeing this person whom the last time I saw, they stayed the night with me and cried about how wonderful I was but couldn't be with me...
and now they have made no attempt to be my friend.
I was confused about how to act.
Do I just pretend she isn't there?
That is bullshit and I learned my lesson... I did nothing wrong.
I smiled and looked at her and she smiled back.
In this awkward way, we exchanged glances.
I am sure people think I am more socially awkward than I am usually because I was having this super slow anxiety attack. haha. But I realized that even though she looked fucking adorable... I didn't need to be one of the people sitting on the stairs outside the rose. I would have wanted to be inside dancing and well... I will find that person who will be inside dancing with me (generally one of the femme girls which will later exchange me for a butch partner that shows interest... because they have none in me... neither of them).
Then I was out of it for the next hour watching reanna's bellydancing and bedroom club burlesque until I shook it off and danced my ass off with two great people. Reanna and Kelly have this energy and I love it.
to be honest, I am scared for cherry tonight. I think it is my need for self punishment that has me going still. That and hott dykes. I will be drunk dammit. I will dance. My apartment will be clean because there is this individual whom... I hope I can talk into my bed. Although, I suppose they already gave me their number for that purpose.