Aug 15, 2005 15:30
i fall for you like a kid taking candy from a stranger
but not anymore
i cant.
someone told me today "you already walked that road and while its nice when your on it.. it really only goes in a circle"
i cant keep going in circles. im dizzy and feel sick from all the circles he has me run.
i'm letting you go
you are amazing. you meant more to me then anyone. for many many reasons. but i went into things believing there was a destination. that the path was leading me somewhere. where has it gone? its led me to some amazing times, and fond memories...but that isnt enough
im tired of settling
there was a time, where i didnt need you to love me. that i didnt need to be the only one for you. i was fine knowing that you had other girls. i was content knowing i was the only one in illinois that you wanted to spend time with.
thats not enough anymore
its just not healthy. i cant cry about you anymore. i cant get upset or jealous or wonder if u hate me, love me, or just use me. then realize its none of those. its so hard. i invest so much, but rarely get much back. i realized i am so much better than that. and thats not me being cocky. its me realizing that i deserve someone to care about me just as much as i care about them.
to many, its was just a hookup. i dont believe that. i truly believe u when u say u like me. and maybe even that is naive of me. but liking me, and wanting to be with me are two totally different things ive come to realize. and liking just..just doesnt cut it anymore.
theres nothing wrong with you wanting to be a rockstar, or not having time for a gf. its even ok if u wanna be with more than one girl and thats the reason. i just cant be sucked into all of it anymore. it hurts, its stressful, i get upset. i cant be with you sometimes and not get attached. i just cant. im human, i have feelings. so its all or nothing. and all is not an option as it has already been clearly defined. so as harsh as it might sound...it leaves me with nothing being my only option. if you dont want all of me then u cant have some of me. and thats how it has to be.