I mean I really am happy for them but....
how can I be happy when I know I'm not going to see both of my parents and my little brother for months or possibly even atleast a year.
Good Reasons: my dad finally gets to work abroad. Kristopher gets to go to a college prep school. my mom gets to work on her sewing AND NOT work. Kristopher gets to get outside of the United States. All three of them get to travel to exotic places on vacation.
Bad Reasons:They're thousands of miles away in a foreign country.... in the MIDDLE EAST... I won't get to see them or talk to them as much as I used/want to. Things have to be put off that are really important to me. and I just won't get to see them... they just won't be here.
I mean how many people say that they're 20 years old and their parents aren't even in the same country. I guess I'm just scared. I feel so dependent on them... they do pay for practically everything that makes me survive: car insurance, medical stuffs, CELL PHONE bill, etc.
am I being selfish?
I just don't know anymore. I just wish I had someone here that I could talk to [i HATE my cell phone reception]... of course I'd probably just sit there and cry... but it makes me feel better.. or atleast lets me pity myself for some time. I guess things could be worse... but I don't even get to see them off at the airport or anything... DAMN passport agencies!! they should have left at the beginning of August but noooooooo... they ad to be stupid and hold my dad's passport. ACK!
I just want to see them and not have to say bye knowing that they're leaving in a couple of days. I have the chance tomorrow but then I'll miss Shreveport. IDK. I feel like if I don't say goodbye to them in person then it'll be much easier than seeing them knowing that i have to be back the next day and knowing that they're still leaving on Monday.
it's all so damn confusing... hopefully I'll make up my mind... I wish someone could make this decision for me... but then I also wish that I didn't have all these ties here and that I could go with them.
what to do. what to do.
Good Reasons: my dad finally gets to work abroad. Kristopher gets to go to a college prep school. my mom gets to work on her sewing AND NOT work. Kristopher gets to get outside of the United States. All three of them get to travel to exotic places on vacation.
Bad Reasons:They're thousands of miles away in a foreign country.... in the MIDDLE EAST... I won't get to see them or talk to them as much as I used/want to. Things have to be put off that are really important to me. and I just won't get to see them... they just won't be here.
I mean how many people say that they're 20 years old and their parents aren't even in the same country. I guess I'm just scared. I feel so dependent on them... they do pay for practically everything that makes me survive: car insurance, medical stuffs, CELL PHONE bill, etc.
am I being selfish?
I just don't know anymore. I just wish I had someone here that I could talk to [i HATE my cell phone reception]... of course I'd probably just sit there and cry... but it makes me feel better.. or atleast lets me pity myself for some time. I guess things could be worse... but I don't even get to see them off at the airport or anything... DAMN passport agencies!! they should have left at the beginning of August but noooooooo... they ad to be stupid and hold my dad's passport. ACK!
I just want to see them and not have to say bye knowing that they're leaving in a couple of days. I have the chance tomorrow but then I'll miss Shreveport. IDK. I feel like if I don't say goodbye to them in person then it'll be much easier than seeing them knowing that i have to be back the next day and knowing that they're still leaving on Monday.
it's all so damn confusing... hopefully I'll make up my mind... I wish someone could make this decision for me... but then I also wish that I didn't have all these ties here and that I could go with them.
what to do. what to do.