(no subject)
my life is a waste.
routine has set in.
i hate it
there are no sporatic times,
no spur of the moment trips (both)
nothing to look forward to but the next paycheck and sanocamping.
nothing to look forward to after that but winter, and im NOT looking forward to winter, driving to work in the rain, working every day.
ive lost touch with the art world, not like i was ever in touch, but at least i had myself convinced that i was.
what would happen if i disappeared today.
who would care.
would it matter in this vast world?
could i stick around and help?
should i have devoted my life to my family?
am i wasting my money on stupid things for pleasure.. food, clothes, drugs, rent, when i could be living at home and helping my dad?
i dont know if ill ever be a successful artist anymore.
im having doubts on getting into any gradschools.
someone cheer me up,
make me an adult,
i dont want to be a lazy ass, sleeping all weekend.
i should be going to LA, going to see my friends art shows..
what the freaking hell heather.
not to mention i am part of a company that thrives on vacated land, new developments, and making money.
:edit: oh and now for some reason ive started my period. this is such a great day.
routine has set in.
i hate it
there are no sporatic times,
no spur of the moment trips (both)
nothing to look forward to but the next paycheck and sanocamping.
nothing to look forward to after that but winter, and im NOT looking forward to winter, driving to work in the rain, working every day.
ive lost touch with the art world, not like i was ever in touch, but at least i had myself convinced that i was.
what would happen if i disappeared today.
who would care.
would it matter in this vast world?
could i stick around and help?
should i have devoted my life to my family?
am i wasting my money on stupid things for pleasure.. food, clothes, drugs, rent, when i could be living at home and helping my dad?
i dont know if ill ever be a successful artist anymore.
im having doubts on getting into any gradschools.
someone cheer me up,
make me an adult,
i dont want to be a lazy ass, sleeping all weekend.
i should be going to LA, going to see my friends art shows..
what the freaking hell heather.
not to mention i am part of a company that thrives on vacated land, new developments, and making money.
:edit: oh and now for some reason ive started my period. this is such a great day.