ugh

[iheartanerd]

PLEASE make EVERYTHING stop HURTING!! ahhhh. I am sooo tired of having headaches all day long everyday. tired of things hurting.. random muscles hurting for no reason, not ever being able to sleep but more tired then ever. SUCKS!!! anywho. Today i went tubing down the Ichetucknee river. This was amazing to me.. because for 4 hours of my life, i did nothing but sit in a raft and float down a crystal clear river where my only worry was what was also in the river with me. It was amazing to me that i was not accountable for my cell phone for this amount of time. Not once did i think about whether or not a job opportunity was going to call me or my grandfather was going to call. I really just didnt care.  I didnt have the internet to check my email every 5 seconds.. no tv. just peace and quiet with beautiful trees and silence everyhere. oh yeah and 72 degree water. I believe this was one of the best ideas i have had in a very long time. and i REALLY want to go back.. but without my brother who talked the entire time. and although i did have a headache the entire time, i tried to ignore it and just enjoy what was around me... nothing. I wish i could do more of this type of thing more often. I would love to make a resolution to spend more time outside.. but often this requires money and energy.. things i seem to be in EXTREME lack of these days seeing how i am apparently not a good candidate for ANY job. Last time i checked.. someone with VERY good references and good grades and being in the honors program and lots of free time was a good person to hire. but apparently not. I actually went to an interview the other day and the guy said that he had three UNF students already on his payroll (it was a biologically sterile goods manufacturing place) and he said that the three he had already it "seemed that their main focus was school" (implying that he was disappointed in them) R u freaking kidding me? of course it is.. this is a part time job. you are within spitting distance from the school. Most employers would LIKE our main focus to be school! weird. Decidedly after reading this, I am not a fan of punctuation when i am venting. I try to remember this these days:

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. -Eleanor Roosevelt