(no subject)
i have a lot of good friends on live journal, and i need help if anyone has the time to read this.
"let me go and you will find someone"
i have to be honest with everyone, with myself. things with josh and i are not the same anymore. i love him so much but i dont get excited to hang out anymore, and i find myself making plans with everybody else. and i have fallen into some sort of trap. i have feelings for somebody else too, i have had them. i tried so hard to mean something to this boy who seemed so cold and mean. i dont know why, maybe i am crazy. i listened to him when he wouldnt listen to me, i chased him when he wouldnt chase me. i smiled when he wouldnt smile at me. and now, i mean something to him. from what he says, i mean a lot. i feel like now i get to see who he really is and nobody else does but maybe i am naive. people tell me i am crazy for even considering him cuz they think he is just an immature asshole. but i see more, who is to say who's wrong? i wish that they could see his other side when we are alone.(which isnt often) but josh and i have been together over 2 years and everyone loves seeing us together. i can think of at least 5 other people who would be almost as sad as josh if we broke up. i miss feeling the butterflies...i miss being able to make mistakes without them affecting somebody else so deeply...it's been so long. but how do i tell josh this?
"let me go and you will find someone"
i have to be honest with everyone, with myself. things with josh and i are not the same anymore. i love him so much but i dont get excited to hang out anymore, and i find myself making plans with everybody else. and i have fallen into some sort of trap. i have feelings for somebody else too, i have had them. i tried so hard to mean something to this boy who seemed so cold and mean. i dont know why, maybe i am crazy. i listened to him when he wouldnt listen to me, i chased him when he wouldnt chase me. i smiled when he wouldnt smile at me. and now, i mean something to him. from what he says, i mean a lot. i feel like now i get to see who he really is and nobody else does but maybe i am naive. people tell me i am crazy for even considering him cuz they think he is just an immature asshole. but i see more, who is to say who's wrong? i wish that they could see his other side when we are alone.(which isnt often) but josh and i have been together over 2 years and everyone loves seeing us together. i can think of at least 5 other people who would be almost as sad as josh if we broke up. i miss feeling the butterflies...i miss being able to make mistakes without them affecting somebody else so deeply...it's been so long. but how do i tell josh this?