last entry
alright, this is my last entry in this thing. seriously kids, grow up, writing in this thing only to bitch and moan about stupid shit is useless, and writing to tell about your weekend or something is really stupid because you shouldnt need to update an online journal to tell the whole world, of who not a single person really gives a shit, about your fucking weekend. seriously, if its that important, you would either tell them over the phone, or the person would have been there with you. the only honorable use of this site is for venting anger, not bitching.
so last update, and i might as well be a little bit of a... well i cant even remember that stupid word anymore, someone to tells against something and then does it themself, you know what im talking about. so anyways, this is going to be the longest rant ive ever gone on.
first off, people who think they know everything. like, people who think they know the inner workings of friendships, because if youre not in them, then you probably dont know much of anything about it, so stop pretending that you know what are parties are about and how some of the people are rude or some bullshit, maybe they just dont like you, i dont know, im not saying that they dont, its just not them being rude. moving right along to people who pretend to care, i know, in some cases im guilty of this too, but for the most part im not. i hate it how people will pretend to care and pretend to comfort you in the event of a dieing friendship. that really pisses me off because its see-through bullshit and it just makes me mad. but on to the one thing that is completly pissing me off more than anything right now. my inability to fine a fucking decent girl. not a girlfriend, per say, just a lousy stupid girl who can see me for who i really am. and seriously guys, if you really think about it, not to sound conceted at all, but im probably one of the few PURE NICE GUYS left at our school, or maybe our fucking county. im so fucking nice i make myseldf sick sometimes. seriously, ashley if youre still reading this after i kinda went off on a tangent on you earlier, how many times did i give you a fucking dollar for a soda when you didnt have one. and for what? FUCKING NOTHING. a thank you. we were never event that good of friends but i willingly shed a buck for nothing. for you, why? because i care. i seriously do, i usually care about every single person, so long as they havent dicked me over before. and most of the time i shouldnt give half a rats ass because theyre not my good friend. what does it seriously take to find a girl whos not a fucking bucket that has a good personality and can see me for me. out of the people on this list, probably only 2 girls have given me enough of their time, maybe 3 to see the real me. erin and ashely b, maybe alena. and do you know what they would probably say about the REAL me? that im a nice kid, and that i care about people, not that im mean, and that im rude to people simply because theyre not in my direct group of friends, because thats bullshit, maybe erin wouldnt say that, thast kinda faded kinda bad and i fell pretty bad about that one but maybe theres room for improvement/foregivenss, i dont know. ashley would say nothing but good stuff, and alena too, i think, were getting tight, which is cool, because alenas a cool girl. but anyway, the point is, all 3 of those girls are in serious relationships. WHY DO I MAKE FRIENDS WITH GIRLS THAT ARE IN LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS. which was a good reason for me to be in the 05 mafia, girls who dont have bfs, that arnt buckets, that are really cool. abbie. everythings fine, everyone talks up a storm about how aweomse were gonna be. but then the secret dagger gets thrown in my back a second before my moment of glory. she doesnt want anything serious, an occasional hook up buddy. FUCK THAT SHIT. thats stupid, why would you honestly do that. so yes, back to square one. im a stupid desperate little lonely kid who thinks he deserves way more than he has, but whos too greedy to get it.
and thats done. because thats not the me anymore. ive seriouslt changed, but not halfways back. im not the kid who wears all black every day and doesnt talk to anyone but 2-3 close friends and says nothing. im the kid who just likes to have fun with his many friends and people and just wants to hang out with his wang out, not litterally of course. ive changed, but not ideals, or morals, or music, or anything, just a bit of personality and outgoingness. i think its good for me, but i guess some people dont like it. but whatever, youre free to voice whatever opinio you may have, if you even care. so yeah, im out. for good. have a nice life.
and dont you dare call me popular.
so last update, and i might as well be a little bit of a... well i cant even remember that stupid word anymore, someone to tells against something and then does it themself, you know what im talking about. so anyways, this is going to be the longest rant ive ever gone on.
first off, people who think they know everything. like, people who think they know the inner workings of friendships, because if youre not in them, then you probably dont know much of anything about it, so stop pretending that you know what are parties are about and how some of the people are rude or some bullshit, maybe they just dont like you, i dont know, im not saying that they dont, its just not them being rude. moving right along to people who pretend to care, i know, in some cases im guilty of this too, but for the most part im not. i hate it how people will pretend to care and pretend to comfort you in the event of a dieing friendship. that really pisses me off because its see-through bullshit and it just makes me mad. but on to the one thing that is completly pissing me off more than anything right now. my inability to fine a fucking decent girl. not a girlfriend, per say, just a lousy stupid girl who can see me for who i really am. and seriously guys, if you really think about it, not to sound conceted at all, but im probably one of the few PURE NICE GUYS left at our school, or maybe our fucking county. im so fucking nice i make myseldf sick sometimes. seriously, ashley if youre still reading this after i kinda went off on a tangent on you earlier, how many times did i give you a fucking dollar for a soda when you didnt have one. and for what? FUCKING NOTHING. a thank you. we were never event that good of friends but i willingly shed a buck for nothing. for you, why? because i care. i seriously do, i usually care about every single person, so long as they havent dicked me over before. and most of the time i shouldnt give half a rats ass because theyre not my good friend. what does it seriously take to find a girl whos not a fucking bucket that has a good personality and can see me for me. out of the people on this list, probably only 2 girls have given me enough of their time, maybe 3 to see the real me. erin and ashely b, maybe alena. and do you know what they would probably say about the REAL me? that im a nice kid, and that i care about people, not that im mean, and that im rude to people simply because theyre not in my direct group of friends, because thats bullshit, maybe erin wouldnt say that, thast kinda faded kinda bad and i fell pretty bad about that one but maybe theres room for improvement/foregivenss, i dont know. ashley would say nothing but good stuff, and alena too, i think, were getting tight, which is cool, because alenas a cool girl. but anyway, the point is, all 3 of those girls are in serious relationships. WHY DO I MAKE FRIENDS WITH GIRLS THAT ARE IN LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS. which was a good reason for me to be in the 05 mafia, girls who dont have bfs, that arnt buckets, that are really cool. abbie. everythings fine, everyone talks up a storm about how aweomse were gonna be. but then the secret dagger gets thrown in my back a second before my moment of glory. she doesnt want anything serious, an occasional hook up buddy. FUCK THAT SHIT. thats stupid, why would you honestly do that. so yes, back to square one. im a stupid desperate little lonely kid who thinks he deserves way more than he has, but whos too greedy to get it.
and thats done. because thats not the me anymore. ive seriouslt changed, but not halfways back. im not the kid who wears all black every day and doesnt talk to anyone but 2-3 close friends and says nothing. im the kid who just likes to have fun with his many friends and people and just wants to hang out with his wang out, not litterally of course. ive changed, but not ideals, or morals, or music, or anything, just a bit of personality and outgoingness. i think its good for me, but i guess some people dont like it. but whatever, youre free to voice whatever opinio you may have, if you even care. so yeah, im out. for good. have a nice life.
and dont you dare call me popular.