(no subject)
Your Body Type (more than one may apply):
[ ] Amazon Queen
[ ] Androgynous
[ ] Average Joe or Josie
[x] Built for pullin' a plow and birthin' babies
[ ] Burly
[ ] Buxom Wench
[ ] Classic Pin-Up
[ ] Demi-God
[ ] Dilbert
[ ] Elfin Sprite
[ ] Fashion Model (i WISH)
[ ] I could crush your head between my thighs and make you like it
[ ] Jocktackular
[x] Just look at these guns!
[ ] Manimal
[ ] Pear-Shaped
[x] Please buy me a ham sandwich
[ ] Pleasingly Plush
[ ] Shapeless protoplasmic mass not unlike a Lovecraftian Shoggoth
[ ] SpecRACKular
[x] Tall drink of water
[ ] The kind of ass you want to hang on to and hit with a car antenna
[x] Tiny Terror
[ ] Wee puppet man
Best Feature:
[ ] Ass
[ ] Biceps
[ ] Chest
[ ] Eyes
[ ] Hair
[ ] Legs
[ ] Lips
[x] Smile (or my stomach?)
Worst Feature:
[ ] Bad hair
[ ] Balding
[x] Waspafarians
[x] Chin(s), or lack thereof
[ ] Cross-Eyed
[just little boobs] Droopy Little Boobs
[ ] Feet that lead to Sasquatch rumors when I walk in the snow
[ ] "How kind of you to provide a perch for the little birds!" (That’s a Cyrano reference that means you have a honking big nose)
[ ] Lard-Ass
[ ] Love Handles
[ ] Man-Tits
[ ] Micro-Phallus
Guilty Little Secrets:
[ ] I've fucked a friend's significant other
[ ] I've been the Other Man or Other Woman in an extra-marital affair
[ ] I dislike at least one of my alleged friends
[ ] I have a tendency towards gossip
[ ] I'm a slut
[ ] I've tried to kill someone
[ ] I once was groped by my boss and didn't do anything about it
[ ] I'm not as interesting as my profile might suggest
[ ] I'm not as attractive in person as in my profile photos
[ ] I met up with a MySpace friend from another state for a booty call
[ ] I've done hard drugs
[ ] I've been in jail
[ ] I've played D&D
[ ] I've been to a comic-book convention
[x] I've thought of someone on my friends list while masturbating (significant others don't count)
[ ] Nude photos of me have been posted online
[ ] I own a Clay Aiken record
You regularly watch:
[x] Gory horror films
[ ] Asian martial arts films
[ ] American martial arts films
[I wish] Subtitled films
[not enough] Black and white films
[ ] Blaxploitation films
[ ] Musicals
[ ] Brat Pack films
[ ] Anime
[ ] Godzilla movies
[ ] Movies based on comic books
[ ] Movies based on Shakespeare
[x] Chick Flix
[ ] Vintage Sexploitation (Russ Meyer, Chesty Morgan, etc.)
[x] Westerns
[ ] Science Fiction films
[ ] Fantasy films
[ ] Deadwood
[ ] Rome
[ ] The Wire
[ ] The Sopranos
[ ] American Idol
[ ] The Shield
[ ] Nip/Tuck
[ ] The Family Guy
[x] Adult Swim
[ ] Iron Chef
[ ] LOST
You like:
[ ] Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
[ ] Grand Theft Auto (the game]
[ ] Grand Theft Auto (the felony)
[ ] Ganja
[haha] the cock
[x] cemeteries
[x] ladies' undergarments
[x] the theatre
[x] guns(my guns. Woooo)
[ ] martial arts
[ ] New York
[ ] New Orleans
[ ] Sushi and/or sashimi
[x] Ethnic cuisine in general
[ ] animal flesh
[x] long walks on the beach
[ ] used bookstores
[x] museums
[x] titty-bars
[ ] The Ultimate Fighting Championship
[ ] Film Festivals
[x] Fine Dining
[x] Soul Food or traditional Southern cuisine
[x] Boobies
The pets you have HAD and have?
[ ] cat
[x] dog
[ ] lizard
[ ] rat
[ ] ferret
[ ] bunny
[x] fish
[ ] duck
[x] hookbill (parrot, conure, parakeet, cockatoo, cockatiel, or macaw)
[ ] horse
[x] frog
[ ] toad
[x] hermit crab
[ ] monkey
[ ] owl
[ ] prairie dog
[ ] scorpion
[ ] snail
[x] turtle
[x] hamster
[ ] snake
[x] gerbil
[ ] guinea pig
[x] pig
[ ] goat
[ ] chinchilla
[ ] tarantula
[ ] geese
[ ] chicken
[ ] deer
[ ] caiman or alligator
[ ] tuatara
[ ] cricket
You hate:
[x] Self-Righteous Vegans
[ ] Cellphones
[ ] Christian Fundamentalists
[ ] Islamic Fundamentalists
[ ] Violence
[ ] Hippies
[ ] 50 Cent
[ ] Paris Hilton
[ ] Anne Coulter
[ ] Nazis
[ ] Michael Moore
[ ] PETA
[x] PeOple who wRite LiKe tHis
[ ] People who use "LOL"
[ ] People who use "ur" and "u" for "your" and "you"
[ ] Aquateen Hunger Force
[ ] Tom Cruise
[ ] Scientology
[ ] Beady little eyes