Flashback scene - Ser Arstan returns to Starfall

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Random flashback scene.

Ser Arstan: ME (degausser on Fan Forum)
Lady Asheria: Sofia (MovieManiac on Fan Forum)

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Ser Arstan Estermont
Well played was all he could think once she dismissed her hand maidens. The dining hall fell to an uncomfortable silence. One could hear a pin if it dropped on the floor. Arstan could see now that the Lady Asheria was not going to let him off the hook so easily, though he could not even begin to wonder about her motives. Her face was remarkably inscrutable, and although he remembered the child, the woman before him now was a stranger. Perhaps that was why he was so hesitant to speak so freely as she bade him.

“It is not your age that I take issue with, my Lady, but rather your station and our former relation. I knew your Lord father well enough to know he would not approve of such subjects.” Before he spoke of the events that led to his shame he wanted to at least assert his disapproval of the fact that she would even bring the subject up. Seeing as he was a guest under her roof, he was in no position to ignore her request. Ser Arstan let out a heavy sigh as he reached for his wine glass again, this time finishing the contents in full. Everything is always easier with a belly full of wine someone once told him. Arstan was about to test that theory.

“When a man is elevated to the Kingsguard he renounces any claim to a wife, to children and to his lands. Whilst in King’s Landing I met a woman whom I developed very strong feelings for. I betrayed my oath by loving his woman more than I loved my King.” He spoke quietly and stared into his empty cup, not being able to look the Lady Asheria in the eye. His voice was sad as he thought back on that woman who had broken his heart by running off to marry a man he later learned was member of House Bolton in the North. Her memory was not one he particularly cherished at this point in his life, and even now as he had come to accept that he had shamed himself with her only to late loser her forever … he still felt bitter about it. Arstan refused to dwell at this point. He had drowned his sorrows for six long months and had only recently put himself together again. He would not regress.

“When I confessed to my crime, the King dismissed me from his Guard as was his right.” Strangely enough Arstan felt as if a large weight had been lifted from his shoulders now that he had spoken of it. Ser Arstan could only hope that the Lady Asheria would appreciate his honesty and do him one more kindness by dropping the subject all together now.

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Asheria Dayne
Asheria did not reply to his objection. No need to waster her breath. She could tell that he would speak of it either way. When he finally spoke her mask fell for the first time since he had arrived. Thankfully he was not looking at her surprised face. He loved this woman? The gossip just spoke of him bedding her. And no one said anything about him confessing it either. Asheria assumed that he had been caught. It was a pleasant surprise in this unpleasant situation.

"You confessed?" She asked this time there was the true tone of surprise in her voice that she did not bother to pretend before. "It is well known that in history... and most likely still, some men of the Kingsguard do not keep this vow. But unless they are discovered it is not spoken of in public. Why would you openly confess and shame yourself and be dismissed?" The lady asked and the former coldness in her voice was now replaced with honest curiously.

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Ser Arstan Estermont
Arstan simply nodded to her first question. He searched her face for anything that might give away what she was thinking. Women had always been curious creatures, especially the women he had come across in King’s Landing. Most of his experience had been with the high-born ladies sent to court with the intent of finding suitable husbands. Naturally, these ladies were always on their best behavior and it had been difficult to surmise whether their words were ever genuine. With Lady Asheria he had hoped for a more transparent exchange, but so far their exchange had been rife with tension … the exact opposite of what he desired.

When she questioned his reasoning for confessing to the King his crime, Ser Arstan felt it might have been the first genuine question she had asked him since his arrival. Much as he appreciated the gesture, he was still uncomfortable with the subject matter. The wound was still fresh, after all. “I don’t have a complete answer for you, my Lady. I often wonder why I confessed when looking back in retrospect, given the circumstances that followed.” He spoke too much on the aftermath already and moved from it quickly, hoping she wouldn’t catch on to the fact. Instead, Arstan paused thoughtfully and glanced back down into his cup as he remembered the dilemma he found himself in while in King’s Landing. It came down to something really quite simple.

“Lies are not my strong suit, Lady Asheria. In that respect I was always the odd man out in King’s Landing.” He had always been a creature of truth, often to his own detriment. It was quality the Lord Dayne helped install in him and he had never abandoned it even when it might have served him better to do so. “So you see, I really had no other choice. The right thing to do is not always the easy thing to do. Your father taught me that.”

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Asheria Dayne
Asheria had to smile but she turned her head so he wouldn't see. Every man makes mistakes. Some bigger than others. But it took honor and bravery to be honest and deal with the consequences. She was glad to see that those qualities weren't lost to the Knight. Now believed that she could forgive him one day. "Send my dear handmaidens in again. I believe the stories that will now be told will be pleasant enough for them as well." She said.

For the rest of the dinner she asked him other questions about what the people in King's Landing were like and the Tourney's in which he participated. In turn she and Maester Edmin talked of the things that happened in Starfall after he left. Near to the end of the dinner the topic went to her father's sickness and his death. It was then when she began to drink from her cup of wine. When they were all full she thanked her servants before she stood up.

"I've promised you to take you were my father's bones rest after dinner. Come." She said with a sigh. It wasn't often that she went to that part of the castle. Her father's body was burned on the sea but his bones were brought there. Were most of her ancestors rested.

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Ser Arstan Estermont
Much to his relief, Lady Asheria called her hand maidens back and the dinner conversation changed to a much more favorable subject. Arstan spoke of his initial thoughts of King’s Landing. He remembered the smell quite vividly. It smelled of rotting cheese and horse piss (he got a gasp out of one of the handmaidens with that one. The city sat on a harbor and so there was a perpetual ocean breeze that kept the city cooler than what he had normally been used to. He recounted the King and his royal family … and the many oddities he had experienced with Prince Aegon and Princess Alysanne. He was far more interested in what Lady Asheria had to say. She spoke first of her father and later of herself now that she had inherited Starfall. She would always speak of the illness that took the late Lord Dayne and the funeral rites that were performed for him. Arstan smiled sadly to himself. It seemed Lord Dayne had led a mostly happy life and he could see much of him in his daughter now. He raised her well.

Arstan never allowed himself to be fully comfortable with her and refrained from drinking any more wine that evening. When she dismissed her servants again and bade him to follow her, he did so in silence.

He had only been taken down to the crypts of Starfall once when he was very young. At the time they had scared him, perhaps because he felt he did not belong there. His feelings had not changed much, except now it was the Lady Asheria leading him underground instead of his father. Asheria took the lead with Arstan following behind. He held the torch high above both their heads to help lend some light to the dark. They passed the tombs of several known and lesser known Daynes. When they finally stopped at her father’s tomb he felt an immense wave of sadness wash over him. Arstan hesitated to reach for the marble that had been carved into the likeness of Lord Dayne. When his fingertips touched where the Lord Dayne’s face would have been, the marble felt strange and cold beneath his touch.

“I should have come sooner,” he spoke out loud to no one and everyone all at the same time. The face before him, despite its incredible likeness, could not substitute for the man he and the Lady Asheria lost. His eyes started to burn as his vision blurred, but Arstan would not allow a single drop to fall in front of Lady Dayne. Instead, he blinked back the moisture and adopted a most solemn expression. “I’m sorry it took so long, but I’m here now.”

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Asheria Dayne
They walked in silence. She walked past several of her ancestors. Some she knew when they were still alive but the most only from stories. Once they arrived at Lord Edren Dayne's grave the silence between them seemed to grow even quite. She wasn't sure if Arstan spoke to her or her father. She eyes his actions curiously and was surprised for the second time this evening when she saw tears in his eyes though he did not let them fall. It was uncommon for men to cry. One of the only exceptions being when they grieved their father. She supposed he still though of her Lord father as one.

She kept looking at him for a moment longer before she sighed deeply. The woman bowed her head and closed her eyes when she quietly spoke a prayer to the seven. When she was done she was close to tears as well. I will not weep. She told herself. "Why didn't you?" She asked the knight. "Why didn't you come here sooner?" She clarified the question with a hushed voice. Before she thought he had forgotten about him, now she could tell that he clearly did not. "Six moons have passed since you left King's Landing. You could have made it here in less than one."

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Ser Arstan Estermont
The Lady Asheria spoke the words but it was as if they came straight from Lord Edren himself. Ser Arstan had a hard time forming a response. He thought back to King’s Landing and the woman he had shamed himself for. He thought back on her blonde hair and her fair skin and her sweet smile; he remembered at the time of their affair thinking she smiled for him and only him. It was the first time he had ever been in love, at least that’s what he thought it was at the time. Although he took no pleasure from being dismissed from the King’s side, there was a silver lining in the situation. He might have been able to take the woman for his wife. It would not have been easy, but Ser Arstan once heard that love conquered all things.

Arstan later found this to be a falsity, and it was a lesson learned hard. The Lady did not wait for him. She married another man and left Arstan completely and utterly heartbroken. He was left a soiled Knight. He saw after the fact the fool he had been. He realized he had been weak in letting himself be tempted by the desires of the flesh. He took his newfound freedom and decided to exploit it as he felt he had been exploited. He traveled aimlessly along the King’s Road, stopping here and there at various Inns along the wayside. He drowned himself in wine and women and blamed everyone for his misfortunes but the one person who was actually responsible.

It took Arstan a while to realize he had brought it all upon himself.

“The state I found myself in was not one fitting to be viewed by the eyes of this House or the new Lady running it,” he responded after some time had passed. He spoke the words to Lady Dayne, but he stared into the cold marble eyes of Lord Edren. In life, Edren had been an honorable man, one of the most honorable of men Arstan had ever met. He might have understood the circumstances leading up to Arstan’s dismissal, but he would not have stood for watching his foster son’s downward spiral in the aftermath. “I needed to clean myself up, my Lady. I needed to remind myself of the man I used to be. The man your father raised me to be. I have not been that man for quite some time,” he admittedly quietly. “I am trying to be that man once more.”