Can i jump off a bridge yet?
I haven’t posted in here in a while.
A lot has went down. Lets start with me moving to Pittsburgh again. Was it a mistake or not? I’m not really sure. But I do know that my dad needs me up here. Sometimes though I feel like I’m putting more stress on him then he already has. He is really sick and its eating me up inside.
A.J. moved back down to Florida. Because I asked him too. The past 6months of our relationship were horrible I think. And the last 3 months we just went through A LOT!! So I asked him to go back down for a while. I wasn’t sure then if it was going to be forever or not. But now I think it is forever because with out him I think I’m way less stressed out and happier. But I still keep finding myself looking for some one to cling too.
And honestly I don’t even know why. I think I’m just afraid of being by my self. Because I really don’t have too many friends here at all. I don’t even have one friend that I can call up and talk to when I feel the way I do now.
Right now I just feel used, and stupid as hell. There is a lot of reasoning behind this too but I don’t really want to get into it. Ya’ll will probably think way less of me if I did.
I just can’t seem to keep myself happy anymore. I have been stressing over shit that I really shouldn’t be. And it’s eating me up inside. I just feel horribly depressed. And I don’t even really know what it is all about. I don’t know I guess I’m done complaining. I seem to be really good at that as of late.
A lot has went down. Lets start with me moving to Pittsburgh again. Was it a mistake or not? I’m not really sure. But I do know that my dad needs me up here. Sometimes though I feel like I’m putting more stress on him then he already has. He is really sick and its eating me up inside.
A.J. moved back down to Florida. Because I asked him too. The past 6months of our relationship were horrible I think. And the last 3 months we just went through A LOT!! So I asked him to go back down for a while. I wasn’t sure then if it was going to be forever or not. But now I think it is forever because with out him I think I’m way less stressed out and happier. But I still keep finding myself looking for some one to cling too.
And honestly I don’t even know why. I think I’m just afraid of being by my self. Because I really don’t have too many friends here at all. I don’t even have one friend that I can call up and talk to when I feel the way I do now.
Right now I just feel used, and stupid as hell. There is a lot of reasoning behind this too but I don’t really want to get into it. Ya’ll will probably think way less of me if I did.
I just can’t seem to keep myself happy anymore. I have been stressing over shit that I really shouldn’t be. And it’s eating me up inside. I just feel horribly depressed. And I don’t even really know what it is all about. I don’t know I guess I’m done complaining. I seem to be really good at that as of late.