Trains
So, yea I havn't updated in a few, here goes nothing :
This weekend I was being very anti-socail and wouldn't really leave the house, or talk to anyone or anything like that. I just felt like being by myself and listening to muse , drawing a bit and doing some reading, hanging out with the folks. I was suppose to go to prom, but I woke up saturday morning not really in the mood, so dad took me to mainz and later mom and i did some shopping and saw some old famous german pub singer with an afro... kind of odd and strangley cool at the same time. I liek going shopping with my mother when she's not stressed out, this place either gets extremly calm ( because i'm the only one ever home) or the exact oppisite and hectic as fuck with mom all pissed off about work and dad getting pissed because mom is pissed and then me getting mad at the two of them and just recluding to my room for some peace. This weekend was different though..
So yea, chris and i where on the phone alot yesterday, he thinks i'm having a break down of sorts, but I seriously think i'm doing ok. Today was sort of abd because i felt guilty for yelling at some chic for being all koRn obessed and i acused her up jumping on the band- wagon. Well the thing is, I do like korn, and shit like that as well but i think they're over-rated also, and just because i announce that to everyone doesn't give me " musical superiorty" as i tend to think.. I swear sometimes i need to remove this big stick out of my ass and maybe beat myself in the head until i be a little more compassionate, or at least logical thinking. Yeah... music is sort of my passion, but i don't need to hinder everyone with my ideas, because in reality i sort of like being the reclsuive and caste aside because it is the only way i seem to feel fit, i don't always like being some part of a crowd of people that like teh same exact thing. DAmnit we're all just people, and i really need to stop being such a snob sometimes...But then again i havn't thrown anyone against a locker all year or shoved my foot up their ass so i'm doing alright, i just have my selfsih moments, but heh thats what makes me human...
Sunday, we went to this little flea market, i got thsi NICE classical guitar for 30 euros, i checked it out on the web, it's an Arinna. ..ends up being worth 200 euros.. SCORE... it's so nice, tommrow i'll bring it to school so i can string it up ( i have no idea how to put on classical strings, you sort of have to wind and braid them... it's odd and different..... that and i dont even have any classical strings so i'm stealing some from fedric tommrow) ...
Lukas and i skipped seminar today , we were suppose to have jazz band pratice but fedric is all sick or skipping school or something, anyway, we laid in the feild out by the amp and i started picking flowers and stuff, it was something that might have been out of a hippie movie from the 60s, but it was aboustely lovely and now i don't think i ever want to go to school again.. i want to lay in the big feild and just waste the day away... Lovely.
this weekend i'm either going swimming with the band kids * ( ha long story about a certain one of them and his mom even ..argh... long story) or going downt to bitburg to see a few people and listen to jordan's dad's band play over at vegas.. I don't know. Certain reasons why i sort of wonder about doing either...
<3