why i should die
i hate me
i am a worthless piece of shit and deserve to die
why?
because i hurt the only one in the world that i love
i am constantly making him feel as if his not good enough
i make him feel inadequate
insecure
why?
i don't know why i do it,
maybe im just trying to protect myself
so i don't get hurt
but it's hurting him
and that's not fair of me
im so selfish!
and now to make everything worse
i let another guy touch me
why?
i don't know
i don't like him,
i'm not attracted to him
he made it seem like he was doing something else
it started with masages
i should have know
then he'd touch my stomach
,even though it wasn't good enough,
then he used thes little tricks
"hang your head of the bed"
he said
that way i couldn't see what he was doing
and i could pretend i didn't know
he said he was making "my whole body tingle"
and it felt cool
then he would lick my stomach
just cause it felt cool
i finally came to my senses and said my head hurt
so i sat up
but he told me to lay down cause i was dizzy
and i did
im a fucking idiot
so he was like "hey look"
and he tried to undo my bra
it didn't work but he keep trying
and i let him
im so stupid
didn't i know what was coming
how could i be so dense
IM SUCH AN IDIOT
so he pretend to "show me something" again
and ended up grabbing my boob
then he tried to suck on it
but i finally relized this wasn't a game
and said hell no
he was like oh come on
like nothing was wrong with it
*shutters with disbelief*
i hate myself
my boyfriend doesn't know
and i doubt he could find out
so should i tell him
i feel so guilty
everything he says and does
seems as if it's cause he knows what i did
i want to die
how could i let that happen
Brad means so much to me
more than anything else in the world
and i just...suck
im gonna go cut now bye
sorry to waste your time
ohh and by the way...
i know i suck at writing
so don't worrying about telling me
unless you want to rub it in
then whatever
i should die
i am a worthless piece of shit and deserve to die
why?
because i hurt the only one in the world that i love
i am constantly making him feel as if his not good enough
i make him feel inadequate
insecure
why?
i don't know why i do it,
maybe im just trying to protect myself
so i don't get hurt
but it's hurting him
and that's not fair of me
im so selfish!
and now to make everything worse
i let another guy touch me
why?
i don't know
i don't like him,
i'm not attracted to him
he made it seem like he was doing something else
it started with masages
i should have know
then he'd touch my stomach
,even though it wasn't good enough,
then he used thes little tricks
"hang your head of the bed"
he said
that way i couldn't see what he was doing
and i could pretend i didn't know
he said he was making "my whole body tingle"
and it felt cool
then he would lick my stomach
just cause it felt cool
i finally came to my senses and said my head hurt
so i sat up
but he told me to lay down cause i was dizzy
and i did
im a fucking idiot
so he was like "hey look"
and he tried to undo my bra
it didn't work but he keep trying
and i let him
im so stupid
didn't i know what was coming
how could i be so dense
IM SUCH AN IDIOT
so he pretend to "show me something" again
and ended up grabbing my boob
then he tried to suck on it
but i finally relized this wasn't a game
and said hell no
he was like oh come on
like nothing was wrong with it
*shutters with disbelief*
i hate myself
my boyfriend doesn't know
and i doubt he could find out
so should i tell him
i feel so guilty
everything he says and does
seems as if it's cause he knows what i did
i want to die
how could i let that happen
Brad means so much to me
more than anything else in the world
and i just...suck
im gonna go cut now bye
sorry to waste your time
ohh and by the way...
i know i suck at writing
so don't worrying about telling me
unless you want to rub it in
then whatever
i should die