(no subject)
it's been week and so since, the unclear separation. it was hard to deal the pain bottling inside me. tears cant lessen the pain, it only made my eyes look budge and puffy. not a very good sight. i cried in front of my boss, which suck big time. my mom fooled me about boyfriend thingy, which is the main reason why i cried so hard. its so embarrassing, to say the least, i didnt know she knew i got a boyfriend. ex-boyfriend now.
the loneliness sucks. thats the only problem in here though my tiny bit obsession doesnt really that bad unlike before. loneliness is killing me. i miss him. i still love him though but despite that i have to think for myself. i cant or wont swallow the rational reasons in order to satisfy the loneliness of my heart. i know if i welcome him back again or pursue him to coming back to me, i know that one day time will come that this would happened again and it would be for good. and i know that time, it would be harder than this. i dont wanna reach to that point. sometimes, i felt like giving up to him, just to be with him. i have to feed the loneliness, emptiness in me. it felt like am a walking corpse. a zombie. i dont want this anymore. it sucks. i wanted to live but i dont know how though. im hopeless everytime.
the loneliness sucks. thats the only problem in here though my tiny bit obsession doesnt really that bad unlike before. loneliness is killing me. i miss him. i still love him though but despite that i have to think for myself. i cant or wont swallow the rational reasons in order to satisfy the loneliness of my heart. i know if i welcome him back again or pursue him to coming back to me, i know that one day time will come that this would happened again and it would be for good. and i know that time, it would be harder than this. i dont wanna reach to that point. sometimes, i felt like giving up to him, just to be with him. i have to feed the loneliness, emptiness in me. it felt like am a walking corpse. a zombie. i dont want this anymore. it sucks. i wanted to live but i dont know how though. im hopeless everytime.