Irish
In preparation for celebrating drinking and good Irish things, I am making a list of those Bad Irish things, that are, the greivances someone must make up for:
Far & Away - This is far and away one of the worst movies ever made...and Kate Beckinsale wasn't even in it. There's something about watching Tom Cruise ("One Front Tooth" as I call him), fake an accent and struggle as an imigrant for three hours that just turns your stomache.
"i totally forgot about celebrating my irish roots"
"those chinese irish roots?"
"didn't we work on the railroads together or some shit like that?"
"sounds about right"
"my great grandfather did that. and if tom cruise's role in far and awat taught me anything... that's how you gotta do it, just slap random facts together.although far and away is hardly factual. let's be honest here, if a horse rolls over you, you're likely a goner, even if you've got nicole kidman with a bad accent telling you that she loves you"
Richard Gere's accent in The Jackal. He tried, but let's face it - Dick sucks. And then he kills Bruce Willis? You can't kill Bruce! It doesn't matter what kind of accent you have - I don't even think Arnold could kill Bruce, and I know Arnold could kick Dick's ass.
Vertigo. Apparently the Catholics and Protestants are getting along a little too well in Northern Ireland nowadays and thus, U2 is trying to reach out to numerically dyslexic Spanish speaking people. Bad U2.
Southie. Don't go...ever. Maybe it was okay at the beginning, but now, well, I'd rather go back to the south than go back to Southie - at least southerners have some manners and class.
Ben Affleck, and while we're at it, Casey Affleck. Apparently Mr. and Mrs. A didn't want to stop at Ben, so they had Casey. Now there are two bad actors with the same last name running around. Ben needs a guardian angel to say things like "maybe playing a blind superhero who runs around in a tight little red suit with little ears isn't for you," or "didn't the real Pearl Harbor cause enough suffering," or "focus, Ben, look at the size of that ass. stay away." or even "Bruce maybe able to stop that asteroid, but even he can't help your career." And Casey, well, it's only fitting that in Ocean's 11 and 12 he played a dumb, annoying Mormon.
I'm sure I forgot some, so please feel free to add.
Far & Away - This is far and away one of the worst movies ever made...and Kate Beckinsale wasn't even in it. There's something about watching Tom Cruise ("One Front Tooth" as I call him), fake an accent and struggle as an imigrant for three hours that just turns your stomache.
"i totally forgot about celebrating my irish roots"
"those chinese irish roots?"
"didn't we work on the railroads together or some shit like that?"
"sounds about right"
"my great grandfather did that. and if tom cruise's role in far and awat taught me anything... that's how you gotta do it, just slap random facts together.although far and away is hardly factual. let's be honest here, if a horse rolls over you, you're likely a goner, even if you've got nicole kidman with a bad accent telling you that she loves you"
Richard Gere's accent in The Jackal. He tried, but let's face it - Dick sucks. And then he kills Bruce Willis? You can't kill Bruce! It doesn't matter what kind of accent you have - I don't even think Arnold could kill Bruce, and I know Arnold could kick Dick's ass.
Vertigo. Apparently the Catholics and Protestants are getting along a little too well in Northern Ireland nowadays and thus, U2 is trying to reach out to numerically dyslexic Spanish speaking people. Bad U2.
Southie. Don't go...ever. Maybe it was okay at the beginning, but now, well, I'd rather go back to the south than go back to Southie - at least southerners have some manners and class.
Ben Affleck, and while we're at it, Casey Affleck. Apparently Mr. and Mrs. A didn't want to stop at Ben, so they had Casey. Now there are two bad actors with the same last name running around. Ben needs a guardian angel to say things like "maybe playing a blind superhero who runs around in a tight little red suit with little ears isn't for you," or "didn't the real Pearl Harbor cause enough suffering," or "focus, Ben, look at the size of that ass. stay away." or even "Bruce maybe able to stop that asteroid, but even he can't help your career." And Casey, well, it's only fitting that in Ocean's 11 and 12 he played a dumb, annoying Mormon.
I'm sure I forgot some, so please feel free to add.