its been a while......

[igotthedoor_tor]

so i hvent been online in like a week or so, maybe longer. maybe not. but its funny bcuz i just realized how much the internet was my life at one point. and how much it kept me in check with reality. and when i dont go online i totally get shut off from like all human contact. its like my life just stops. its crazy wierd but whatever, that was really random. sorry.

so ive been wanting to call my friends, but i never do. im sorry guys. i know it seems like ive died and fell off the face of the earth, but im still here. and i miss you guys and im sorry i cant hang out with any of you. it sucks being stuck over here in hawthorne. ill get around to calling you guys soon. i hope everyone is doing good. please let me know how you all are doing.

Lina, i hope you are doing good. im not sure if the whole dont call you on your cell or home phone applies to me so im going to play it safe and wait for a response. please call me or let me know if i can do anything for you. ok?

so ive been dealing with the consequenses that have come from the actions ive done. it was jessica's birthday and i wanted to stop by her house and give her a bday card. but i didnt have the courage. then i thought that i would call her. but i couldnt even find the courage for that. i feel like such chicken shit. i cant even call one of my best friends. im so sorry for what ive done.