notgood
why is it, my summer really wasn't that great, until the last few days of it? I was left starting school not only in this weird stoned sleep and food deprived state, but i felt like summer was just starting :(. it made me want to cry. it still does actually. My first day i was exhausted, weak, completely out of it, anxious, bored, extremely pissed off. I felt like i was in a dream. The next day i woke up and started getting ready for another boring pointless fucking day, but then i threw up so i didn't go to school that day. Friday was so uneventful i don't even remember it, but the fact that i've only been to school for 2 days and i'm already wanting to kill myself. I'm also already on the verge of a breakdown with this whole book issue. I'm completely unprepared for school. I still have no school supplies, nothing to organize my work in, no text books, i haven't done any of my reading. I feel like crawling in a hole and dying because all i want to do is stay out all night and party, basically just forget all my responsibilities and pretend like nothing matters. st marys is nothing to me but a fucking pain in the ass that likes to interfere with my life. i couldn't possibly hate a school any more than i hate this one. ever