i know how hard it is to actually finish a story that you've begun (that's been my trouble recently) so congrats for that, first off. as for the story, it reminds me of hemingway, i don’t know if that’s a good thing or not seeing as I don’t particularly like or hate him, I just sort of respect him because of the tremendous ego and person behind the writing, perhaps it's because hemingway wrote a lot about war and the effects of it on soldiers. your story is well written (i always hated that phrase but it is true)it has lots of detail, it’s very interesting because it seems like just a clip of something greater, as if this really happened or this person had more to share however you’re not going to share it, i also find the whole theory of life interesting, the way the characters try to establish what is in fact reality, along with the whole typical “you’re not really living if you’re not facing death every day” set in a background of war, but obviously what else would you write?! I think you were right to leave out that other paragraph, as for the title I don’t like it either, however i can't offer any suggestions because that's always the hardest part, if you give up you could always just put something random that has just popped into your head and be all mysterious about it, if you keep this up i might even think of giving you one of my stories to read again, as of now you are barred because you haven't told me what you thought of my shitty horror story i wrote for class entitled "coming home"
as for the story, it reminds me of hemingway, i don’t know if that’s a good thing or not seeing as I don’t particularly like or hate him, I just sort of respect him because of the tremendous ego and person behind the writing, perhaps it's because hemingway wrote a lot about war and the effects of it on soldiers.
your story is well written (i always hated that phrase but it is true)it has lots of detail, it’s very interesting because it seems like just a clip of something greater, as if this really happened or this person had more to share however you’re not going to share it, i also find the whole theory of life interesting, the way the characters try to establish what is in fact reality, along with the whole typical “you’re not really living if you’re not facing death every day” set in a background of war, but obviously what else would you write?!
I think you were right to leave out that other paragraph, as for the title I don’t like it either, however i can't offer any suggestions because that's always the hardest part, if you give up you could always just put something random that has just popped into your head and be all mysterious about it,
if you keep this up i might even think of giving you one of my stories to read again, as of now you are barred because you haven't told me what you thought of my shitty horror story i wrote for class entitled "coming home"
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